Hiding Bruises
by Inspired.L
Summary: Tina Blanch has been going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for 6 years now and for her they have been 6 long years of misery. Can the famous Sirius Black really change all that? And, if so, can he really change it for the better?
1. The Girl No One Knows yet

Hi, my name is Tina and I'm the type of girl you don't notice. I started at Hogwarts 6 years ago and I think it's safe to say that no-one has noticed me since then, well not for the right reasons anyway.

I do well in all my subjects, in fact my scores are probably the best in the year, but the teachers don't think of me as clever. This is probably because I never put my hand up in class or voice any opinions or ideas during discussions. That doesn't mean I don't have any though.

I'm the one who when my names called out on the register and I'm not in everyone looks round, confused, trying to work out who exactly is missing.

Well, except a few that is, but they don't tell anyone they know me or who I am, it would take to long to explain and besides, they don't want me being noticed, it would spoil their fun.

They're not my friends, no way. They're my tormentors.

They are a group of prejudiced, evil, hateful Slytherins (I'm in Gryffindor by the way, I've no idea why though as I've still to discover my alleged 'braveness of heart'). The leaders of this group are Irving Mulciber, Charlton Avery, Severus Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange.

Mulciber is broad and strong whilst Avery is quite skinny. Avery is normally sent to find me by the others to tell me where to meet them.

I know what you're thinking 'meet them'? Huh? That's what I thought to begin with, why would I go and meet them when they're so horrid to me? The answer is this, it's worse is I don't. There are consequences if I ignore them, they taught me that in 2nd year when I didn't show. I would rather be attacked in private, I don't want the whole school knowing what they do to me on a monthly basis. So I just spend my time waiting for Avery, wondering when he'll come for me, hoping it's never, knowing it won't be.

Snape is tall and lanky and has dark greasy hair, he always has a terrible smirk on his face that makes me shudder every time I think of it and cower in fear whenever I come face to face with it. I hate him, I'm terrified of him. I would have to say that he is the scariest person I have ever met. If there wasn't Bella that is, and there is always Bella.

Bellatrix Lestrange is the pure personification of evil. She is the one real leader of the group because all the boys are scared of het too. She is tall and ghostly white because she never goes out into the sun. She skulks around the castle all day, looking for victims to prey on, and I just happen to be her favourite one. She has black hair that makes her appearance even more corpse-like. Her matted locks stick out from her head in all directions and her eyes, her eyes. Her eyes are dark and sunken into her head like those of a dead body. They stare out of her face at you like giant whirlpools; every time you look at them you can see yourself being sucked into them. There is a whole universe in her eyes, a distorted, devastating deadly world where she alone rules and you must do her bidding, or pay the price. No one can hold her gaze for more then a few seconds, well maybe one, Sirius Black; her cousin is the only person I've ever seen look straight at her without flinching away.

Sirius Black is a Gryffindor and is one of the self-proclaimed 'Marauders'. They are Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Sirius Black. James and Sirius are both drop-dead gorgeous and hilarious, though quite big headed. Sirius is a bit of a heart breaker and James has had his fair share of girlfriends although there's only one girl he really likes (Lily Evans, a red head Gryffindor in our year). Remus is just the sweet heart of the school, though he's never dated and is as handsome as the other two he's lovely and kind and smart. Peter is short and squat and no one really understands why he's one of them.

Every one adores them (except the Slytherins), boys want to be them (well not Peter, but you get the idea) girls want to date them (except Pettigrew obviously). They are the school heros and troublemakers, even some teachers practically worship them despite the fact that they are always in detention (James and Sirius are anyway).

I hate them.

Well, not them, just what they do. Every time they play a prank or get into a fight with a Slytherin (which is pretty often let me tell you), I have a little run in with Bella and the others.

I don't hate them; I just wish they'd give it a rest for a little while.

I'm sick of hiding the bruises.


	2. Interruption

"Let's give this little mud blood a bit of what she's used to back at home!" Bella cackled.

Mulciber grinned and kicked me; I must have looked just like a bundle of robes lying on the floor at their feet. This sent Bella into hysterics and she started whacking me with her hands, clawing at my robes with her fingernails. I gave a cry as her sharp nails ripped through my skin and a thin line of blood fell from the cut. Mulciber kicked me in the stomach, harder now. I let out a involuntary scream of pain and clasped my middle.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked in that sickly sweet voice of hers that she uses to taunt me, "Isn't this what you're used to? I thought this was how Muggles dueled each other?" Her brow furrowed in mock confusion.

I didn't reply, I knew not to by now. With Bella, you just had to let her talk for as long as she liked, if you joined in the conversation she'd carry on much longer before getting bored.

"She doesn't seem to be enjoying it as much as you said she would," said Mulciber darkly.

"Why not? Why not, ayy?" Bella asked me, leaning down to look me in the eye. She cackled even louder when I looked away, "she don't appreciate are little gift to her Severus."

Snape who had been standing back watching the proceedings came forwards, "stop messing around Bella." He said in a bored voice.

"But it's no fun if I don't mess," replied Bella, looking hurt.

Snape rolled his eyes as though he were talking to a little kid, "fine then," he said, "you mess all you want Bella. I'm bored, I'm going to bed." He walked away.

Bella blew a raspberry after him, "why did he do that, do you think?" she asked me, "he's no fun, we don't need him to have a good time, do we?" She took my head in her hands and shook it like a rag doll.

Bella sighed when I didn't say anything, "you're boring too." She told me, "only good for one thing you are," she said, and started kicking me again. Her pointed shoes struck me all over my body as I bit down on my tongue hard to stop myself from screaming.

It would end soon, her interest in me was waning, I could tell. If I could just keep my mouth shut. I mustn't give her anything to work with.

Just then I heard footsteps coming round the corner, I didn't bother to look, thinking it was Snape come back.

There was silence as who ever it was surveyed the scene before them, the silence went on.

I looked over just as Bella muttered, "Who invited him to the party?" Her voice was cold and harsh, as was the reply.

"No one Bella, I'm gate crashing," answered Sirius Black. I looked up at his tall, dark haired figure. His lips were thin and his eyes were glaring at Bella, he didn't look at me lying on the floor.

Bella glared back at him "Go away Sirius," She told him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice full of anger.

"Just playing," said Bella as she placed her foot on my stomach, pressing down hard on an old bruise. I whimpered and Sirius momentarily looked down at me.

"Let her go," he ordered.

Bella lifted her foot and stepped away from me, never taking her eyes of Sirius.

I scrambled up and hurried away past Sirius. I kept my head down as I past him but he grabbed my arm, I shrank away from his touch immediately. "I'm sorry," he said, seeing my reaction and letting go, "what's your name?" he asked.

I kept looking down and ignored his question as I exited. I stopped around the corner and listened to their conversation.

"Who was that?" asked Sirius, obviously annoyed, "what where you doing to her?"

"No one and none of your business," replied Bella.

I sighed in relief and walked away. She wouldn't tell him my name, that was good, I hoped he wouldn't be able to recognize me tomorrow.

*****

When I got back to the Gryffindor common room it was full of people. I snuck through the crowd, keeping my head down. No one noticed me, I was getting good at being invisible, I'd had plenty of practise.

I noticed the remaining Marauders (James, Remus and Peter) were sitting around the fire watching it sizzle. They were probably waiting for Sirius to get back from what ever he had been doing before running into Bella. I wondered if he would tell them what had happened, probably.

I went up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. There were six of us in the 6th year girl's dorm, there might as well have just been five though, for all the attention they paid me. I'm not complaining though, I brought it on myself by never talking to them or hanging out in there with them.

They were Lily Evans, a fiery red head and object of James Potters infatuation (he asked her out regularly but so far had never managed to receive a yes), Molly Prewett, who was also red haired but a lot shorter then Lily and had been going out with Arthur Weasley from the year above since 3rd year, Alice Logan, brunette (like myself, but hers was cut short) who was rumored to fancy a 7th year called Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon a short bouncy blonde (though there had been a rumour in 4th year that her platinum blonde curls were not completely natural, not that I payed much attention to rumours) who went through boyfriends nearly as fast as Sirius did with his girlfriends (_**almost**_) and Emmeline Vance, a shy blonde girl who excelled in all subjects.

When I got in none of them where there, I went straight into the bathroom and examined today's damaged. It wasn't bad really, apart from the nasty gash on my cheek all the bruises would me around me middle, where they could be easily covered.

I wet a towel and dabbed at my face, the bleeding had pretty much stopped already. I magically sealed the skin back together but you could still a rather pink line across my cheek. Madame Pomfrey, the school nurse, could get rid of that easily, not that I would go to her. To me the likelihood of being noticed by her and having to answer her questions as to how I got the injury in the first place was higher then being noticed by a fellow student and having to answer their questions.

It was quite late and I had nothing else to do so I changed into my pajamas and got into bed. A while later the other girls came in and did the same, they were excited about the upcoming ball and talked about it long after the lights had been turned out.

I half listened as I drifted slowly into sleep as Lily complained about how James had put any guy of asking her to the ball and Molly told them that Arthur had asked her the day they were informed the ball would be happening (about a month ago). Alice had been asked by a boy in Ravenclaw but had refused as she was hoping Frank would find the courage to ask her. Marlene had been asked by many boys and so far had said yes to all of them, she said she was going to choose nearer the time but wanted to keep all her options open until then. Emmeline (known as Em) stayed quiet throughout the conversation but when prodded by the others girls insisted no one had invited her to the ball.

They probably said more as I fell asleep well before their conversation was over.

*****

[3rd Person]

Downstairs Sirius Black walked back into the common room as he walked over to his friends they all noticed that he looked like something was annoying him. When he slumped down in the empty chair beside James, Remus leant over and asked him what was up, as far as they knew he'd gone to get some food from the kitchen, but he was empty handed.

"I ran into Bella on my way to the kitchens," he told them, straightaway they all became more alert, it was common knowledge that Sirius hated his cousin, "she was bullying some kid, her and Mulciber."

"What?" asked James, intrigued now.

"I came round the corner and saw this girl lying on the floor, and Bella kicking her hard all over," Sirius explained.

"Who was it?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head, "no idea mate, she ran off before I got a good look at her face or even see what house she was in and Bella wouldn't give anything away."

They were silence for a minute after, all of them wondering who it was and why she hadn't let Sirius see her.

"Did you see anything strange going on on the map while I was gone?" asked Sirius.

James shook his head, "we didn't really look, just made sure Flich wasn't out patrolling."

Peter looked worried, "should we tell some one? McGonagall maybe-"

He stopped as James and Sirius looked at him with exasperation.

"If she wouldn't let Sirius see her she won't go to McGonagall, besides it was probably a one of," said Remus.

"We'll keep a look out on the map anyway," Sirius said, still feeling uneasy, "see is we see Bella with anyone."

"Good idea" James agreed, stifling a yawn, "we'll start tomorrow." He got up from his chair and walked towards the boy's dormitories.

Peter and Remus followed him up but Sirius stayed where he was, "I'm not tired yet, I'll stay here a bit longer." He said.

"We've got charms tomorrow morning," Remus reminded him.

"I know, I won't be long," said Sirius.

The others left and he sat there a while longer, staring into the fire. He was about to get up but he noticed the others had left the Marauders map open on the table. He leaned over and looked at it, his eye was drawn to the six names in the girls dormitory. Lily, Alice, Molly, Marlene and Em he recognized but the sixth he didn't. He looked at the small neat writing that proclaimed Tina Blanch was sleeping in her bed in the 6th years girls dormitory.

He frowned at the name, sure he hadn't heard it before, though it did sound strangely familiar, like he'd heard it called out by teachers but never properly paid any attention to it.

He stared at the name for a minute longer the shook his head, folded up the parchment and went up to bed.


	3. Being Noticed

The next morning I was woken by the sound of footsteps from outside our dorm. I sat up in bed and looked around, the other girls were still asleep, it didn't surprise me that they hadn't heard anything, as I'm a very light sleeper. I went over to the door and looked out, thinking that it was probably just someone going down to breakfast early. I didn't think I would be able to get back to sleep so I decided to get dressed and do the same.

I didn't see any one on my way down to the Great Hall and when I got there it was practically empty apart from a few bleary-eyed Hufflepuffs and two Ravenclaw girls. The Gryffindor table was empty but that didn't put me off going to sit at it. I would be eating alone anyway.

As I ate I felt some one watching me and looked across the hall to see Snape staring at me from the Slytherin table, which I had mistakenly thought was also empty. He had obviously been told about what had happened the night before after he had left.

I tried to continue eating but found that suddenly my mouth had gone dry and it hurt to swallow the food, so I gave up. I felt his gaze on my back as I left the room and as soon as I was outside I felt his cold hand grab my arm. His dirty fingernails dug into the skin on my wrist.

I tried to turn away but he pulled me round and leaned towards me, that ever present smirk plastered to his face. "I heard about the interruption last night, Bella was quite unhappy she didn't get to finish her fun," he snarled. As usual, I said nothing, this didn't put him off as it was now practically an unspoken rule that whenever we met he would talk while I stood there, looking scared. "We don't want Black or Potter," he spat the names out with disgust, "knowing about our little rendezvous, do you understand?"

I nodded, "I don't either." I managed to say.

He raised his eyebrows at me, "what?" he asked sarcastically, "you don't want the Gryffindor heroes saving you from evil Bellatrix?"

I shook by head fervently.

A thin smile spread across his face, "Good. So you haven't told them it was you?"

I shook my head again.

"Good" he repeated and then leaning in closer he whispered in my ear, making the hairs on my neck bristle, "'cause if you do, there will be consequences."

I nodded my head meekly in understanding and he started to pull away but a voice from behind stopped him.

"Arh, hello, Snivellus, what a lovely surprise this is." Snape wheeled around to see James Potter, flanked by Sirius, standing at the top of the stairs grinning down at him. He instantly let go of my arm and put his hand into his robes for his wand but Sirius beat him to it.

Snape's arms stuck to his sides as Sirius hit him with the full body bind.

I shuffled away, hoping they wouldn't notice me go but they were already at the bottom of the stairs. Sirius surveyed me coolly, his eyes pausing over the scar on my cheek and Gryffindor emblem on my robes. I stared at the floor, embarrassed by his gaze. This may sound strange but it was probably the first time since I came to Hogwarts that some one had looked at me, I mean really_** looked**_ at me, not just ran their eyes over me in a crowded room.

James muttered a spell and Snape started to spout bubbles from his ears and nose, but sensing that Sirius wasn't interested he followed Sirius' gaze. His eyes found me and I felt myself blushing under both their gazes.

James waved his wand and released Snape who, before running away, shot me a warning look from behind James' shoulder.

Once Snape was gone Sirius spoke, "what were you talking to him for?" he asked in a rather accusatory manor, this was understandable, after all most Gryffindors weren't on speaking terms with members of Slytherin house, especially Severus Snape.

"I wasn't," I said stupidly, "he was, talking to me." I didn't know what to say, I felt silly and young under his gaze.

Neither of them moved and then Sirius asked, "why?" I just shook my head without answering. This seemed to annoy him and his eyes started to narrow. "What's your name?" he asked me.

I still didn't answer and now James joined in, "hey," he said, making me look up, "Sirius just asked you a question, what's our name?"

"Tina" I mumbled.

Something seemed to click in Sirius' mind because he looked up, "Tina Blanch?" he asked.

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me as I nodded. How did he know my name? What else could he possibly know about me?

Just then a chandelier fell from the ceiling and fell to the ground and I heard the most horrible laugh. The two boys looked up and saw Bella standing at the top of the stairs laughing at their confused expressions. Snape and Mulciber were standing behind her glaring at the three of us.

"Snivillus, why did you have to run of to Bella now?" asked Sirius, obviously annoyed at the interruption. Though both his and James' eyes were sparkling in excitement at the idea of a fight with Snape and Bella, even though they were outnumbered 2-3.

I looked up at Bella but her eyes were focusing on the boys, Snape and Mulciber had also averted their attention.

I stepped backwards and neither James nor Sirius noticed, I took another tentative step and another until I felt safe enough to turn completely and tip toe out. Either they didn't see me backing away or they were too distracted by Bella to try and stop me, either way I made it around the corner and out of the entrance hall without being way laid.

I ran up the corridor and into the nearest girl's toilets where I locked myself up in the cubicle and threw up.

If this was what it was like to be noticed, I hoped I would stay invisible.

********

When I came out of the toilet I was greeted by Bella's black eyes boring into me, "Hello precious," she snarled.

I stepped back, hitting the edge of the cubicle I had just exited.

"Don't worry," cooed Bella, "I'm not going to hurt you, my favourite cousin and his friend have tired me out," she pouted, as though I would feel sorry for that her fight with them had tired her so much she wouldn't be attacking me. "I just want to know what they were talking to you about. It looked like you were having quite a cozy little chat before I butted in, sorry about that," she said, looking far from sorry.

I didn't want to speak but this wasn't a question I could simply nod or shake my head to, so I opened my mouth to speak.

"That's right," said Bella, nodding at me, "tell Bella, good girl."

I looked away from her piercing eyes, "I only told them my name, nothing else."

"Hmmm" said Bella disapprovingly, "you better not be lying to me, 'cause I will not be happy if you are."

"I'm not lying," I managed to say.

She sent me a death glare before turning on her heal and heading out of the room.

I watched her go, my heart beating ferociously as though it too, wanted to kill me. I realized my breath was coming out in short uneven gasps and stared at myself in the mirror for a minute, trying to control it.

I didn't look any different then I had this morning, I didn't look like the type of person you would notice.

I still had the same dark, long, auburn coloured hair that curled as it fell across my face and back, I still had the same wonky fringe that fell into my eye on the left, but wasn't quite long enough to tuck behind my ears. I still had the same hazel coloured eyes, flecked with hints of gold and light brown. I still had the same thin mouth, high cheekbones, small nose and pointy ears that I had always had.

So what had changed what had suddenly made me so noticeable?

The bell rang and I stepped out of the toilets, heading towards Professor Flitwick's room where I had charms. As I did so I noticed a Ravenclaw girl glance over in my direction and then look away again, maybe I was wrong, maybe I was still uninteresting old me.

So why had Sirius Black looked at me like that?

I had no idea. I just knew one thing; whatever it was, I wanted it to stop.

**********

I kept my head down all the way to Charms and snuck into the classroom un noticed just as Professor Flitwick started the register. I sat down in my normal seat in the far left corner at the back of the room and got out my book.

That day's lesson wasn't a particularly pivotal one and I didn't pay much attention.

I was with all the Marauders (I am in most of my lessons now I think about it) and I kept finding myself glancing over at them, James and Sirius to see if they were acting different at all.

Neither of them looked back during the lesson, which was good, right? This is what I wanted, to be invisible. So then, why did it upset me so much that Sirius seemed to have forgotten our meeting that morning already? Did it upset me? I was so confused. I had no idea what the strange sensation in my stomach was, maybe I was going to be sick again but I didn't think that was it. It was like a strange pulling in my abdomen, like my vital organs were trying to get themselves out of my body and run away to somewhere else. I had no idea where though.

At the end of the lesson I sat for a few seconds longer then anyone else, lost in thought, before looking around and realizing nearly everyone else was gone, I automatically stood up to leave. James had been kept behind and was on the opposite side of the classroom talking to Professor Flitwick. When I glanced up to look at them I met his eyes, watching me over Professor Flitwicks shoulder as I put my book back into my bag.

His attention startled me a little and I hurried away without getting my book away properly. I was still fumbling with my bag as I left the classroom, I had my head down so didn't notice the boy standing outside.

"Oi! Watch where you're going!" exclaimed Sirius Black as I walked head first into him and fell onto the floor at his feet. He looked down at me, confused as to how I ended up there. "Oh, sorry," he said when he realized he had knocked me over, he held out his hand and I took it furtively. He pulled me up easily and then looked at me again. His look was assessing as though trying to figure out if he'd seen me before, "Have you always been in our class?" he asked, meaning him and the rest of the Marauders.

I nodded but didn't say anything.

"I never noticed…" he said, his voice trailing off into nothingness.

"Most people don't" I muttered quietly, he heard me though and looked at my face with new interest, as though trying to figure out whether I was bitter or sad.

I wasn't either though, I was simply stating fact.

I smiled weakly under his penetrating gaze and rushed off.

Something was definitely wrong.

This had to be what it was like being noticed, but no one ever noticed me.


	4. Patronuses

I woke up the next day feeling marginally better then the night before. It was all a bit silly really; I mean what was so bad about being noticed? It might even make school a bit more fun if I had someone to chat to during lessons and sit with in the library doing homework.

The whole of my year was on tenterhooks because it was the annual school ball the next night. We had all of Friday of because teachers had to help set up the great hall.

It didn't really bother me as I wasn't planning on going so I just decided to concentrate on today's lessons and the extra homework we were bound to get.

We had transfiguration first and Miss McGonagall set us a huge essay (20 inches) on why animagi were so carefully watched over by the ministry of magic and the dangers of being an animagus. I would probably find this quite easy, not to boast but animagus are a sort of fascination of mine so I know a lot about them.

The Marauders seemed to find this subject quite humorous as Peter, Sirius and James were in hysterics the whole time Professor McGonagall was telling us about the various things she had had to do to be able to become a registered animagi. Remus however seemed really stressed and was glaring at the other three the whole time as they only just managed to keep on their chairs.

At one point I heard him whisper to Sirius, "this isn't funny, I thought this would have made you realise how dangerous what you're doing is."

The next lesson we had was double potions; I never really enjoyed this subject as Slughorn only seemed to pay any attention to members of the 'Slug Club' a group of handpicked talented students. Not that any other teachers noticed me but his ignorance to the rest of the class meant that there was a lot of messing around in the lesson and I often got distracted from my work by pieces of parchment and other objects being thrown around the room.

After lunch we had double Defence Against the Dark Arts. This years teacher, Professor Stronghald, was quite interesting and often did stuff with us that we were sure weren't exactly meant for 6th years.

This lesson everyone was pretty excitable so he decided to do something he was sure would hold our attention, and what he chose definitely did that.

Everyone was talking as he walked to the head of the class, "Silence" he ordered an most people duly shut up, "today we will be practising the patronus charm." He smiled as his words sunk in and the whole class became silence, "I know that it is a charm and that you shouldn't really be studying it until next year but Professor Dumbledor felt you were ready and that I was better qualified to teach it then Professor Flitwick."

We cleared the room and all took up spaces on the floor as he gave us our instructions.

Soon everyone was shouting "Expecto Patronum" at the top of their voices but no one was getting even a wisp of smoke, including James and Sirius who were normally top of the class. Stronghald didn't seem at all perturbed by his classes failure and sat down on his desk to watch us struggle for the rest of the lesson.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the one memory I knew would be strong enough to bring about a Patronus: my sister's birth. "Expecto Patronum" I said forcefully under my breath.

I didn't think anything had happened but when I opened my eyes I saw the figure of a sleek animal, some sort of big cat, formed out of a thick silvery smoke. I also felt two pairs of eyes on me, Professor Stronghald's and Sirius's. The Professor's were praising but Sirius's looked rather apprehensive and I guessed that he was annoyed that him and James would be stripped of their titles as best in the year at Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"Tina," said the Professor, and I was secretly surprised that he knew my name, " that was amazing. I honestly don't think I have ever seen anyone master the Patronus charm on their first attempt." Now nearly all of the class was looking at me with undisguised surprise and scrutiny.

The Professor gave 20 points to Gryffindor as a reward and told the rest of the class to continue before walking over to me and saying that I could leave early and was excused from this weeks homework.

I felt Sirius's eyes on my back as I left the room.

I decided to get a head start on the Transfiguration homework and headed towards the library.

******

When I got back from the library the rest of my year was already in the common room and I felt many eyes turn to me as I crossed it to get to the girls stairs. I noticed two patronuses by the fire out of the corner of my eye, a big black dog and what looked like a stag. I took this to mean that James and Sirius had also mastered their Patronuses and wondered if any one else had managed it.

Up in the empty dorm I lay on my bed with my head in my hands.

Why did I do it, why did I draw attention to myself like that?

Everyone was bound to be talking about how a girl had beaten Sirius Black and James Potter at Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Then I remembered the awestruck looks on all my classmates' faces and felt strangely proud of what I had done. After all, who wouldn't feel pleased with pulling of a spell that some grown people couldn't pull off.

Bella couldn't punish me for being good at something, could she?

No, I thought to myself, she has no reason to be mad at me, none at all. But then, said a little voice in the back of my mind, she had never needed a reason before now.

My thoughts were interrupted when two girls walked into the room; Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon. They were giggling together but the tallest looked up and stopped when she saw me kneeling on the bed looking at them, obvious confusion in my eyes at the unexpected intrusion on my privacy.

"Oh, sorry," she said, talking to me for possibly the first time in 3 years (she had taken the longest to give up on me and had carried on talking to me till the beginning of 3rd year).

"It's ok," I replied, taken aback by her apology, after all it was her dorm too, why should she have to knock before entering?

Marlene had also stopped giggling now and was also looking at me, though I found her scrutinizing gaze made me more uncomfortable then Lily's also intrigued but not as aggressive one.

We stayed like that looking at each other, as if sizing each other up in preparation for a fight.

"Ummm" said Lily obviously feeling uncomfortable, "you were amazing in defence! Sir said he'd never seen anyone get it so fast!"

"Thanks" I said looking down, her praise made me feel uncomfortable.

"Had you really never done it before?" asked Marlene as though she wasn't sure if she believed that this random girl no one had heard of could really be that good at anything.

"Really" I said, "I was so surprised myself, I had no idea I would be able to do it like that." I guess what I really wanted to say was my memory wasn't that happy, but then I guess in comparison to some of my other memories it is.

Lily went over to her draw and got out a book, "I just wanted to get this," she told me before her and Marlene moved to the door. At the door Lily stopped and asked, "do you want to come sit with us?"

"No thanks," I said; taken aback by her question, "I'm doing some homework" I lied.

"Ok," she said, " well maybe another time."

"Yeh," I said smiling at her.

"Great," she said, her face breaking into a huge smile that seemed to light up the room, " see you round."

All I could do was nod happily as she and Marlene walked out.

Once they had gone I looked around for something to do, but there was nothing. Maybe I should have gone with them, I thought to myself but I didn't want to go down now, it would look weird. Next time I will, I told myself as I hoped desperately there would be a next time.

*****

My hair was flying around in the strong gale that was starting to blow, obscuring my vision so that all I could see was the outlines of my captors.

I looked down and saw the floor, what seemed like miles below. My feet searched for the ground but they couldn't move, though I wasn't sure if my body was immobile from fear or some spell of Bella's.

Suddenly I was jerked inwards, so that only my head was sticking of the edge of the astronomy tower.

I saw one figure come away from the others, moving closer to me until she was standing beside me. " You remember this night," Bella hissed at me, " 'cause if you ever do anything to annoy me again then I'll actually throw you off here, understand?"

I nodded frantically.

"I said, do you understand?" Bella screamed in my ear,

I nodded again but couldn't speak.

"I can't hear you" Bella practically sang.

"Yes" I managed to say but my words were instantly whipped away by the cruel wind.

"I still can't hear you!"

"Yes!" I screamed to the night sky with all the effort I could muster.

"Yes what?" Bella asked, cackling.

"Yes, I understand," I screamed.

I felt myself being released and crumpled to the floor in a heap, my head hitting the side as I fell.

"You've had your fun now Bella," Snape said coolly, "let's go."

With that they all walked away and I was left there, on the floor, crying with blood from a big gash on my head dripping into my robes.

*******

I woke from my dream, panting from the effort of pulling myself into consciousness.

I had dreamt of that night so many times and still it shocked and scared me, I would never forget any of it. Never forget the wind ripping at my hair, Bella screaming in my ear, the pain as my head banged against the ramparts, the promise I had made to Bella to never annoy her in anyway.

My patronus would definitely annoy her.

I couldn't get back to sleep that night and as I lay awake in my bed I was sure I heard a wolf howling and the bark of a dog from outside.


	5. Memories And Musings

I gave up on sleep at about 6 o'clock when the sun started to come up above the trees and send a pale light through the curtains of the dormitory window.

No on else was awake, I suspected they would all have a lie in due to the fact that we had no lessons because of preparation for the ball. I got out of bed and out on some plain jeans and a shirt, there was no point putting on robes if I wasn't going to lesson, and went downstairs.

I wasn't hungry yet so decided to go outside and sit down by the lake. As I went through the entrance hall I saw Professor Stronghald walking through into the dining hall, he noticed me and walked over.

"Ah, Tina, I meant to have a word with you next lesson, but since you're here," he said, I remained silent as what he said didn't really need an answer, "I was thinking about that wonderful Patronus you did and so looked up your previous scores."

He looked at me expectantly, "Oh" I said.

"And they are well above average, top in the class may I say" he looked at me again.

"Oh" I repeated.

"So I went to your head of house, Professor McGonagall and we had a little chat about you."

This sounded ominous so I kept my mouth shut.

"We both agree that your scores are top notch but we have been overlooking you as you never speak up in class."

"Oh"

"We've decided to keep an extra watch on you to ensure you fulfil your full potential. We won't have a bright mind like yours being held back by shyness or whatever it is that prevents you from participating fully in class and we also don't want you getting the idea that you can do well in life by just sitting and watching."

This definitely did not sound good.

When I didn't reply he took it as agreement and smiled, "I hope you don't think I'm telling you off I just wanted to let you know that we, meaning myself and Professor McGonagall, shall be keeping an extra strong watch on you."

He watched me carefully for a reply and it didn't seem as though he was going to leave until I gave him one so eventually I mumbled, "Ok, thank you for letting me know Professor."

He smiled smugly, as though my talking was something for him to be pleased with, "Good, I'll she you in lesson them Tina" he said before strolling away into the great hall.

I still didn't feel like food so continued with my original plan of going outside. As I walked I thought about what had just happened, he was so strange. The fact that he was going to be 'keeping an extra strong watch on me' didn't seem like a particularly pleasant one to me at that moment in time. In fact it felt the opposite.

I didn't like teachers, the way they always stuck their noses in when they weren't wanted, the way they always wanted the 'best for you' and to help you 'reach your full potential'. They were always saying they were trying to help but all they really wanted to do was turn your life into a bigger sham then it was before they came and 'helped' it along. Then you had to thank them because they always had your 'best intentions at heart' and thought what they were doing was 'for the best'.

I hate it, how they always think they know what's best for everyone else.

Why couldn't they just let me get on with it? Why did they always have to be the ones to make a change, when everyone else was fine with things just how they were?

I realise it's not exactly fair on them, after all, it's not their fault that they have no idea about the complexity of the student society; how it works, who's at the top, who's at the bottom, who likes who, who hates who, who does not go with who and who just wants to be left alone.

Ok, I'm going to stop for a minute now because this all seems a bit pointless and I'm making myself sound seriously prejudiced towards teachers: I have my reasons though, trust me.

*****

It's the beginning of 2nd year and I've just found out my best friend has died, I got a letter over the holidays from her parents telling me she died, she was on a walk with them in the countryside and ate this nasty plant. That's what Del was like you see, had to try everything, but anyway this plant turns out to be some sort of evil plant. I didn't ask for the details, I didn't really want them and I still don't want to hear them now. Anyway, she was in hospital for a while but they couldn't treat it, mainly because they didn't notice the effects 'till it was too late. High temperature, fever, couldn't sleep, normal symptoms; they only realised it wasn't a passing cold when she started seeing things that weren't there. I don't know what sort of things, maybe it was haunted spirits and ghosts coming to get her, I preferred to think it was nice stuff like bunnies or unicorns. I was naïve then you see, thought the world was black and white; it's not.

So anyway, there I am 12, sad, alone and a passing Professor kindly takes pity on me and decides to give me a helping hand to meeting new friends. She tells a 'lovely group of pupils' to watch out for me because 'I've lost a very dear friend and am feeling quite lonely at the moment'.

That teacher was more naïve then me, thinking a bunch of Slytherins would befriend a lonely Gryffindor. That day she marked me out as an easy target.

So that's why Bella first noticed me, because of a meddling teacher and that is the reason for my prejudice against teachers.

******

By the time I reached the lake I had calmed down enough to just sit and think.

I looked up at the morning sky and noticed that the full moon was still visible against the sun. I picked out a large rock at the edge of the lake and perched myself on the edge of it, looking down into the murky water.

The time passed quickly outside and I soon found my mind floating around, I was thinking about my patronus and decided to see if I could manage it again.

I thought of my happy memory and whispered the charm, when I opened my eyes there was a huge creature before me. I smiled at it and looked closer, trying to make out what exactly it was. It was defiantly some sort of wildcat but as I looked closer it ran around me and I couldn't see it properly. Then it disappeared again and was gone.

I was going to try again but as I thought of my memory I found myself being drawn into it.

I had been 10 when my little sister was born, Mia they called her and she was beautiful. I remember standing there, after the birth staring at her in her little plastic box. Her perfectly formed fingers and toes amazed me, her bright eyes, the little tuft of hair on top of her head, her sweet little mouth, her expression as she slept; it all amazed me.

I'd never seen a baby before and I found everything she did fascinating, the way she gurgled and laughed after she burped. The way she squeezed your fingers so hard you thought they were going to break.

She's a little monster now of course, all six year olds are I guess but I love her.

From what I've told you so far I guess you're expecting me to come from some sort of dysfunctional family where everyone argues or something, but I don't. The school holidays are the times I look forward to the most, when I get to go home and see them all, Mia, mum, dad, gran, granpa and the aunts and uncles. Everyone gets together at Christmas, gran cooks and we have a proper Christmas dinner, chicken, roast potatoes, gravy, the whole lot. I love my grans cooking; it's the best in the world.

It's the Christmas holidays after the ball so I can't wait for it to be over. I won't be going obviously, why would I? No one will notice if I'm not there, they'll look at me if I turn up and whisper things to each other like "who's she? Is she new I don't recognise her." I don't want to have to introduce myself a hundred times and explain to people that I've been here all along and have them wonder why they didn't notice me.

Even worse, I don't want them to carry on not noticing me, to be sitting at the edge of the hall all alone and have no one even look at me all evening. Then I'd know I really have become invisible.

I looked up and saw people walking around the grounds, chatting merrily to one another, all looking forward to the upcoming ball. They were going to dance and laugh and some of them might even get a bit out of it and burst into song. They'd all have a good time and I wouldn't be there, I would be up in my dorm all on my own doing nothing, but I didn't mind. I chose to be up there after all, so I couldn't complain now, my choice was made.

I had a set of dress robes that my mum bought me hidden at the bottom of my trunk. I loved it and it fit me perfectly, I got it on a shopping trip to diagonal alley with my mum but even as I twirled around in it to my mum's delighted applause I knew that I would never actually get to wear it. Not in my school life anyway, maybe it would me in two years time? I doubted it.

When I thought that I did feel slightly sad, I did love the dress and it made me look so good. It was pale violet with darker purple in the trimming, gran always insisted purple was my colour and when I saw my reflection in the shop mirror that day I had to agree with her.

I shook my head and picked myself up from the rock, my limbs ached from not moving for so long and I shook then about a bit to get rid of the pins and needles, it didn't matter to me if I looked like a fool.

I looked down into the lake again, wondering what really lurched down in its deep depths, I didn't believe the stories about mermaids and had never actually seen the giant squid for myself, but I did like to think that there was something down there, swimming among the reeds.

More people were spilling onto the grounds now from the great hall, they must have eaten already but I still didn't feel hungry. I didn't want to stay out here any longer; the tranquillity was gone, replaced but the constant chatter of hundreds of students.

As I walked inside I noticed that many of the girls from my year were still missing from the crowds, they were probably beautifying themselves before coming down for breakfast.

I walked past the great hall, quickly glancing in, for some reason my eyes were drawn to a group of three at the Gryffindor table. James, Sirius and Peter were sitting alone eating their breakfast looking grim. No one had sat near them due to the overall vibe of worry and stress emanating from the group.

I carried on walking up the stairs without taking any further notice, but I did wonder where Remus had got to; usually the four were inseparable.

I shrugged the thought away and carried on my way towards the Gryffindor common room. I would go and get some work to do from my school bag that I had left in my dorm and then go down to the library and spend the day getting a head start on homework so I didn't have to do as much during the holidays.


	6. His First Refusal

I walked into my dorm to find clothes scattered all over the floor, make up lying all around all five very guilty looking room mates. The girls were sitting on Lily's bed wearing a strange assortment on clothing and with green face packs slathered all over their faces. Lily was the only one not wearing a facemask; her skin was perfect, so she was the only one who could actually speak when I entered.

"Hi Tina," she said, biting her lip in a attempt not to laugh at the other fours faces, they looked so relieved that it was not some random other year walking in on their strange ritual.

"Hi Lily," I replied also trying very hard not to giggle at their expressions.

"Sorry about this," she said, trying to look serious and apologetic and failing terribly.

"It's fine," I said, grinning openly now, Lily did have the knack of making whoever she was talking to feel important and generally good. I went across the room and picked up my bag from the side of my bed.

As I went to leave Lily watched me, her eyes getting wider and wider as I neared the door, "where are you going?" she asked me, intrigued.

"To do some homework" I replied, she looked at me questioningly and raised her eyebrows, "in the library." I added, not sure what she wanted me to say.

Lily's brow creased as if she did not understand what I was saying, "but when will you get ready for the ball."

I now noticed that the other four girls were staring at me too, "I'm not going." Lily's mouth dropped open, as I'm sure the others would off if their faces had not been held in place by the dried ointment covering their faces. I had to try very hard not to giggle at their reaction; none of them spoke for a long time, "Bye then" I said before leaving the room.

As I walked away I heard Molly speak, "sod this stupid mask," she said, "it's making my face itch anyway." She muttered an incantation and then sighed with relief as the mask was cleaned from her face, "Come on Lil," she said, "Stop her!"

Before I realized what she meant two girls burst out of the dormitory. Lily looked at me and grabbed my arm, they started trying to drag me in but I resisted. Molly scowled and waved her wand, I was lifted into the air my ankle and when the world became upright again I had been dropped onto my bed at the far end of the dorm.

I looked around, rather disorientated to find all the girls, now without green faces, standing around the room laughing ay my indignant expression. "What did you do that for?' I asked, rather annoyed.

Lily was the first to compose herself, so she answered me, "You didn't think we'd let you go and hide away in the library during the ball did you?"

I scowled, "Why not?"

Emmeline sat down beside me and said, "It's like an unspoken girl law, everyone has to get at least one dance."

"I'm not dancing!"

"Well you have to go, and that's final!" announced Marlene, the other girls nodded in agreement.

I looked from face to face and saw the same determined look on all of them, sighing in defeat I said, "fine then, I'll go."

They all squealed and Lily said in a businesslike fashion, "okay girls only two hours left. It's time to get out the dresses."

As we all rushed to get out dress robes from the various cases scattered around the room I felt myself getting into the mood of things. After all, how bad could the ball be? I might even get asked to dance by someone.

We spent the next few hours doing each other's hair and make-up and chatting amiable about the upcoming ball and boys. Although I didn't really have much to say about the later I was interested to hear about their dates; Alice was going with Frank Longbottom, Molly with Arthur Weasley, Emmeline had been asked by Marcus O'Reilly (a 6th year Hufflepuff), Marlene was going with Charlie Cacke (7th year and head of Gryffindor Quidich team). Lily said that she, like me, did not have a date and though at first the girls did not believe her she told them how she had refused James Potter, causing him to attack any boy who came near her. They all coed in support and spent a while calling James various names but it was soon forgotten.

Once we were done we stood in the dorm, admiring each other's appearance.

Molly was wearing an orange dress rodes the exact colour of her hair, while her hair was tied up on top of her head forming a messy yet elegant bob. Lily's robes where of the same deep green as her eyes and the dress hugged her tall figure. Her hair was curled and hung loosely down her back. Alice had on a plain outfit but her haired had been teased into place around her face that it framed it elegantly. Emmeline had light blue robes that brought out her eyes, her hair was pined up at the back of her head. Marlene's dress robes were also blue but a much more striking shade and her hair was curled into a plait that fell over her right shoulder.

As I looked at each of them in turn I became strangely aware that they were all staring at me, "Oh my god" breathed Alice.

"You look amazing" Emmeline squealed, "and to think you weren't even planning on coming!"

Marlene giggled, "The boys would hate to be deprived of that to look at!"

Molly grinned, "We did 'em all a service by making you go!"

I just stared at them all blankly, Lily sighed in exasperation, she grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards a mirror, 'Look at yourself Tina" she told me firmly.

I looked into the mirror and gasped, I didn't look like me at all; the dress robes showed of a figure I hadn't realized I possessed and Marlene had somehow managed to force my unruly curls into beautiful waves. As I leaned forward in amazement hair fell onto the left side of my face, I noticed that someone had pined the right side back with a purple flower. I stared at myself for a moment longer but then realized they were waiting for me to say something. "I guess purple's my colour" I said quietly.

Marlene snorted, "That's a bit of an understatement!" She exclaimed, the others turned to stare at her, "I wouldn't be modest if I look that good" she said defensively.

It was Molly's turn to snort now, "You're not modest anyway!"

The girls started squabbling playfully amongst themselves, I stared at myself in the mirror again. Lily has not joined in the argument and was still watching me closely; she squeezed my hand in hers and whispered, "You look great, seriously." I smiled to show my thanks and she nodded. "All right let's go!" she said, louder now so that the others heard.

There was a moment of pandemonium following her words as they all dived around the room for their purses or extra hairpins. They soon settled however and marched out of the dorm, smiling proudly to themselves.

*********

All the others had paired of so that it was just me and Lily walking into the entrance hall together, as we did so many heads turned in our direction to watch us move through the place. "They're all looking at you" Lily whispered in my ear.

I could feel myself turning red under their gazes, "Don't be silly," I muttered, "It's you they're gawping at."

Lily sniggered, "Don't be silly," she said mockingly, "They've all seen _me_ before."

"They've seen me too" I retorted under my breath.

Lily glanced at me slyly, "Not like this they haven't."

"Arhhh, my Lily flower," someone called from behind us, Lily groaned.

"What do you want now James?" she asked, spinning around to glare at him.

James grinned charmingly at her despite her obvious annoyance, "The first dance of course, my darling." I noticed he was flanked by Remus and Sirius, both of whom were eyeing my strangely. I felt myself blush under the combined force of their gaze, Remus looked away but the corners of Sirius's mouth curled upward. I returned my attention back to James and Lily.

"No, no, never!" she was saying indignantly.

"But why my gorgeous Lily, my love" he crooned.

"Because I hate you James Potter!" she turned to stalk away but reconsidered and turned back, "and I am not_ your_ anything!" With that she sped away, leaving James looking confused and hurt.

I followed after her, glancing back over my shoulder at the boys behind us, that expression was gone from Sirius's face and it was obvious that he and Remus were trying to comfort a sad faced James.

I found myself feeling slightly sorry for him as he slumped sideways onto Sirius and even thought about saying something to Lily, but then I remembered the reason that she had no date for tonight, and decided against it.

We walked around the hall for a while together, looking at the decorations but Lily was soon being bombarded with suitors, so I muttered something about her having fun a wandered away.

I found myself a small table in the corner of the hall and sat down there, on my own. I watched the couples dancing and must admit I did feel a slight longing inside me, but then, what girl my age doesn't want to dance at a ball?

I saw Marlene and her date step of the dance floor and Charlie went of to get her a drink, she walked over to my table, fanning herself with her hand.

When she reached me she raised her eyebrows meaningfully, put her hands on her hips and said, "and what are you doing sitting over her all on your own?"

"Well, what else am I meant to do, no-ones asked me to dance" I replied, confused by her question.

Marlene looked at me as though I was completely stupid and said, "well that's 'cause you're sitting over here all on your own ain't it?"

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"Well, they want to come over to you because you look all intimidating standing here on your own, but loads of guys have been checking you out."

My mouth fell open, me, intimidating? "I thought they hated the way girls stand in groups."

"Yeah but they don't want to come over when you're on your own either, you just need one or two friends with you."

Guys are weird.

"Got to go now sorry, Charlie's waiting for me," she said and started walking away, "remember, look available." With that she was gone, leaving me standing there with my mouth wide open wondering what she'd been on about. At least I probably didn't look intimidating gaping like a fish.

I wondered if what she had said about boys looking at me had been true, I looked around and was intrigued to find that I met the eyes of quite a few guys. As I was concentrating on searching the hall for guys staring at me I heard a soft cough behind me, it wasn't a real cough it was the kind you do to get someone's attention.

I turned round slowly, my eyes almost as wide as my mouth had been a minute ago.

"Hi" Said a tall dark haired boy, whose eyes were fixed solely on mine, "I'm Sirius" he said and held out his hand.

I stared at his hand blankly, did he really think I didn't know who he was? "I know" I said before realizing how rude I sounded, "Hi, I'm Tina."

"I know" he said, the corners of his mouth moving upwards to form a wide smile.

If true, that was almost as surprising as the fact that he thought I didn't know who he was. Not quite though, Sirius was the school legend, everyone knew everything there was to know about him and James. In fact everyone knew a whole lot of stuff about them that they didn't know about, until they heard the rumours.

I didn't say anything, as I didn't know why he had come over, in stead I stared at the floor, trying not to look at him. He stared at me for a second before saying, "Do you want to dance?"

My head shot up, "with you?" I asked dumbly. I know, I know, it's the oldest line in the catalogue of stupid-things-to-say-when-someone-asks-you-out but at the time it seemed quite sensible.

He laughed and simply smiled at me, raising one eyebrow.

I recovered myself quickly, "Umm" I said, not sure how to answer. Then I saw Marlene gesticulating wildly behind Sirius's head and realized that if I said no I would never hear the end of it later. "Ok" I said, smiling up at him.

He put out his hand and this time I took it.

As we walked onto the dance floor I felt eyes on us in every direction, I tried to ignore them but it was like having millions of pinpricks in the back of my neck.

Once we'd reached a gap in the crowd Sirius stopped and turned to face me, he put his arms around my waist and as the slow music started I remembered that I couldn't dance. I breathed calmly and looked around, seeing what others were doing, I noticed that most girls had their arms draped around the boys' neck; so I put my arms around Sirius neck. I couldn't work out what to do with my feet though because I could hardly stare at all the girls' around me's legs.

Sirius seemed to sense my discomfort, "are you ok?" he asked, looking me up and down.

His eyes made my face burn red but I decided to tell the truth, I'd look more of an idiot if I didn't, "I can't dance."

He laughed and his eyes returned to my face, he saw that I was serious and said, "sure you can," I didn't reply, "just sway."

So I did, I just listened to the music and swayed my body in time to the beat, and as I did so I became more and more aware of his body pressing against mine and less and less aware of everything around us. I looked at him as we swayed together, our bodies moving as one and her grinned at me, a perfect, lopsided grin that had knocked many girls of their feet, literally.

I'd never really looked at Sirius Black before, not properly anyway, I'd heard all the girls going on about his deep eyes that you could get lost him and his perfect, masculine chin and cheekbones. I looked at him know though, and I knew what they meant, Sirius was gorgeous. I used to think the girls who swooned at the sight of him were stupid but know I understood why they didn't. He wasn't just your average cute he was proper go-shaky-at-the-knees gorgeous.

As I started to feel myself go weak at the knees and found that I was using my arms around his neck to hold me up more then anything else, the song ended. Couples all around us drew apart and I let my arms drop back to my sides, I looked away from him over his shoulder.

I met two eyes staring right back at me, two black, hard, cold eyes that were filed with anger.

Although Bella's face didn't look too bad I could see from her eyes that she was fuming, her eyes passed from me to the back of her cousin. She didn't need to say anything; I could always tell what Bella wanted.

"Ok, bye then," I said to Sirius, still looking at Bella; she smiled and looked away.

Sirius however looked taken aback, "don't you want to dance the next dance?"

"No thanks" I said looking at the floor, " I think I've had enough swaying for one night."

He looked confused, "don't you want to dance with me?"

He obviously wasn't used to being refused by a girl, "no," I said, "sorry."

As I walked away I could feel his gaze on his back. I realized that this was probably the first time he had ever been turned down by a girl and hoped that my refusal may have had some effect on his huge ego, but when I looked back at him he was already walking back over to James, Remus and Peter, so I guess not.


	7. Heart To Heart

3rd Person

Sirius looked at Tina's back as she walked away, she didn't look back which he found strangely annoying. He realized that girls all around were watching him. He didn't want to seem as though he was staring longingly after the first girl to ever turn him down: which, of course, he was. He forced himself to shrug his shoulders as though unbothered and turned to walk over to his friends who were standing in a group at the edge of the dance floor.

"What was all that about?" asked James as soon as Sirius reached them.

"All what?" asked Sirius, as though he didn't know what they were talking about, they all raised their eyebrows at him to show they weren't fooled. "Just asked a girl to dance guys, it isn't that unheard of you know" trying very hard to be cool about it.

"And she walked away from you" Peter pointed out, who seemed strangely pleased that there seemed to be at least one girl in the school who was immune to Sirius's charms. Sirius glared at him.

'Which, I think I am right to assume, is unheard of" said James.

Sirius looked at them and sighed, it was obvious they weren't going to give up, "it was going fine and then I asked her for another dance and she seemed to get really distracted and muttered 'no' and walked away."

"A girl got distracted by something, when she was with you? And then walked away?" Peter was definitely much too happy about this.

"Why did you ask her to dance though?" asked Remus, it was a question which Sirius had known would be coming since the moment he last left the group muttering that he just wanted to do something. It was a question he didn't really know the answer to.

"I don't know really, she looks really good."

"Someone else might fall for that but we know you mate, you're not as fickle as everyone thinks." James looked at him seriously.

"Yeah, well you're way more of a gossip then everyone else thinks," retorted Sirius. None of them replied, so he sighed and tried to explain to them what he didn't understand himself, " I don't know, it's hard to explain but when I look in her eyes, it's as though there's this thing within her, a light, I can't explain it but it's like there's a wild thing inside her, something alive. The only thing is it's been trapped or tamed, hidden deep, real deep so no one else can see it."

James forehead creased as he tried to work out what his friend was saying, it didn't quite make sense. He looked over Sirius's shoulder at the subject of their conversation. Tina was sitting down at the table she had been before; it was in the corner of the room, away from everyone else. He thought it was strange, the way she kept away from everyone else, it wasn't just shyness, it was something else. Most other girls would have taken the opportunity of being asked to dance by Sirius to get in with the 'cool crowd'. As he watched her she looked up, he didn't look away, instead he stared straight at her, trying to understand what Sirius meant. He couldn't see it; he looked her up and down, searching for a clue at how this girl had caught the attention of his best friend. She did look really good; the dress she was wearing fit her perfectly. He stopped himself staring at her figure and looked back into her eyes. It was strange looking at her, she was looking back at him but it was like she wasn't really there, she wasn't actually in the room, or her mind wasn't anyway. He tore his eyes away, "I can't see it, I don't think I can anyway."

"Exactly," said Sirius, "you can't tell what you're seeing, and even when she looks back you can't tell what she's seeing, if she's really seeing you." James was silent for a minute and then Sirius seemed to come out of a trance, "listen to me," he said jokily, "I'm getting deep."

Then the four of them went back to their normal harmless chatter and jokes.

*********

Tina's POV (Point Of View)

I didn't know what to do after leaving Sirius so I just went back to my old table in the corner, girl's eyes drilling into my back all the way. I knew they all wanted to know what had happened between Sirius and me and that most of them would be spreading some type of crazy theory on the mater by the morning.

I sat down and looked around, everywhere I looked eyes met mine and quickly looked away. I saw Sirius but he was standing with his back to me so I couldn't see his face, James however was standing opposite hm. He was looking at me and didn't look away, he looked me up and down as though checking to see if something Sirius had said about me was true. I don't know if he found what he was looking for but eventually he looked away and said something to Sirius, I couldn't see his reaction.

I turned away from watching them at stared down at the tablecloth, it was made of paper and is started ripping the edges absentmindedly.

"You shouldn't do that," said a voice behind me, "it ruins the décor."

I didn't turn around because I already knew it was Bella. She pulled out a chair and sat beside me, I had to try had not to flinch away when she put her cold fingers over my hand. "I thought we could have a little heart-to-heart, me and you, Tina, because now I come to think of it I've never really got to know you. The real you I mean, I've seen plenty of the snivelling, grovelling, begging-for-mercy version of you, but not the real you that's hidden inside." She dug her sharp nails into my hand so that I had to bite down hard on my lip to stop myself from whimpering.

Bella smiled at me, " Ok, you don't want to talk about it? That's fine, we can talk about something else, let me see, what shall we talk about?" She stopped for a moment, as though thinking hard, then her eyes lit up as though she's just had an idea, "I know, boys!" She dug in harder and this time I couldn't hold in the exclamation of pain that escaped my lips.

"What was that?" she asked grinning, "nothing ok. What was I saying, oh yes, boys. So, I saw you dancing with my cousin earlier, do you like him? " She leaned in closer and stared me straight in the eyes, a malicious grin spread across her face, "do you love him?"

I turned my head away from her and looked down at the ground.

She let out a high-pitched cackle, "you do! You're in love with my good-for-nothing, layabout cousin!" She looked back at me, her eyes glinting, "do you dream about him? Do you spend your nights lying in bed, hugging your pillow, thinking about him?" She said all this in a crooning, sickly-sweet voice, making faces as though she were concerned for me, pouting horribly. "Arhh, you poor thing. You know he'd never love you back. He only asked you to dance for a dare, you know."

I tried not to react but could feel the colour spreading to my cheeks, I should have known, the only boy who asked me to dance did it for a dare. I was so stupid!

Bella saw the expression in my face change and started to gloat, "Are you going to cry?" She asked, her eyes lighting up at the idea of me bursting into tears in front of the entire school. "Go on," said Bella, " Do it, cry. Cry!" She ordered.

I stared down and didn't answer apart from shaking my head slightly from side to side.

Bella raised her voice and said in an annoyed manner, "You're impossible! I hate you!" She flung my hand to one side and stormed away from my table.

*******

3rd Person

Sirius had been looking at Tina's table every few minutes and wasn't sure whether to go over and tell his cousin to leave the girl alone. He was about to walk over when Bella walked away, looking rather annoyed he noted.

This confused him and he wondered what Tina had done to cause this expression on Bella's face; she normally didn't show emotions so strongly.

He was so intent on watching Bella that when he looked back at Tina's table, the girl was gone, he looked around the hall for her and spotted her just as she left through the entrance hall. He thought about following, but changed his mind. After all, he was Sirius Black, he didn't want anyone thinking that he was desperate enough to follow her outside.


	8. Stars

I sighed as the blast of cold air hit me directly in the face; so shocking it almost knocked me backwards. But I liked it, it cooled my temper and I found the goose bumps already rising on my forearms slightly comforting; they let me know that I was here.

As I walked down the steps out of the school, I looked up at the sky. It was covered with stars; they sparkled everywhere, from every corner of the galaxy. As I got further away from the light spilling out of the school windows more and more appeared. I loved stars; always have. Most people find the feeling of being small disconcerting, uncomfortable, but I like it. I guess because it reminds me that, although I may be small and insignificant, so is everyone else. In the big picture none of us really matter. To the stars we are all invisible, whether everyone here on this tiny planet likes us or not.

I walked down to the lake, absentmindedly kicking stones with my feet. I'd come out here to calm down, and it had certainly done the job.

I sat down on a large stone beside the lake and stared into the murky water below me. I couldn't see anything, sometimes I imagined seeing ghostly faces rising up out of the dark depths towards me: but not tonight. Tonight the surface was flat and calm, unmoving and black. It locked you out; the surface didn't want me to see what was hidden beneath it.

I put my hand in the water; causing minuet ripples to spread across the lake- I watched them disappear. The water wasn't cold, or if it was my hand was already so cold that it didn't notice, in fact the water felt strangely warm and soothing. It felt nice.

I lifted my wand from my robes and uttered a quick spell, immediately after a silvery shape appeared before me. I watched my patronus circle around me in the dark.

I don't know how long I sat like that, running my hand through the water, watching the animal run around in the night.

**********

3rd Person

Sirius walked off the dance floor as soon as the music stopped; the girl (he couldn't remember her name) was still hanging off his arm. He looked down at her, confused as to why she was still there; she looked up at him and smiled coyly. Normally he would of smiled back, she was pretty after all, but tonight for some reason he didn't want to.

"I'm going back to my mates," he said flatly, he couldn't be bothered thinking of a nice way to say it.

She looked taken aback, "do you want to dance again?" she asked him. It sounded almost like a challenge.

He looked at her again, and shook his head; he just wasn't in the mood for this. He gestured to where James, Peter and Remus were standing, and without another word, walked away.

He heard the girl make a quiet harumffing sound behind him and he could tell that she was about to toss her hair over he shoulder and walk away, she would probably then go and sit in a corner complaining about how he'd broke her heart. He rolled him eyes to himself, girls were so stupid, getting upset just because one guy didn't want to dance with them. But wasn't he upset because one girl didn't want to dance with him? He shook his head to himself, dislodging the thought, he wasn't heart-broken; a little confused maybe- no one had ever turned him down before and he couldn't understand why she had- but not heart-broken. It was probably just that ridiculous always-wanting-what-you-can't-have gene kicking in.

He reached the others, "hey" he greeted them drearily.

James looked at him strangely, "that one not good enough for you either mate?" he asked.

"Nah, I'm just not in the mood."

Peter's mouth fell open, "a beautiful girl like that wants to dance with you and you're not in the mood?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "just 'cause you'd take any girl who'd have you doesn't mean we're all that desperate." James sniggered but Peter scowled.

"You don't normally turn this many down though mate, you sure you're Ok?" Remus was looking at him strangely, like a doctor examining a patient, he look worried.

Sirius thought about all the girls he'd turned down tonight, there had been a lot, but he couldn't picture any of their faces. The only face in his head was that of the one girl who he hadn't turned down. "I'm fine," he said, which he was, at least he thought he was, but maybe he wasn't. Why couldn't he stop thinking about that girl?

James could she his friend was worried, him and Sirius were really close and could always tell when something was up with the other. James studied his friend a minute longer, "is it that girl?" he asked, "the one from before" he added, as though Sirius wouldn't know who he meant.

"I don't know," Sirius shrugged, like most guys, he wasn't comfortable about discussing his feelings this openly, especially as he wasn't really sure what he was feeling right now. "I think I'm gonna go outside," he said, "I've got a headache coming on." It wasn't a lie because at that very moment he felt a strange feeling of nausea spread through him. Everyone was talking, really loud, too loud; it made his head hurt. He shook it and walked away from his friends.

"What's up with him?" asked Peter, the least sensitive of the three.

"I don't know," said Remus, "but I think James is right, it has something to do with that girl."

"The one that turned him down?" asked Peter, also the slowest of the three.

"Yeah," said James, "he really isn't used to rejection." Peter heartily agreed, he'd never seen a girl walk away from Sirius before, from what he could tell they all sort of idolized him.

Sirius wondered out of the school, his head still buzzing from the noise inside. A few girls tried to follow him out but he swatted them away like flies. They simply turned round and went back inside, it was easy for them; after all: they were used to being refused.

He stood outside, just outside the light of the windows, so that he would be invisible from inside. The stars were really bright that night; he looked up at them and wondered which one of them was his namesake- the Sirius star (also known as the 'Dog Star'). It had always been a bit of an inside joke to him and his friends, they'd driven everyone mad laughing about it in astronomy. It was the brightest star in the sky; which was probably why his mum had liked it. She saw the things that stand out most as the best, most important; but sometimes you should look at the other things too; sometimes the quieter ones were more interesting. Sometimes the ones that didn't force themselves on you were the ones that really made the difference.

He looked down towards the lake and saw a faint shimmer of light moving by the water, he strained his eyes to see what it was. He could tell it was some kind of animal and judging from the appearance it was a patronus. He started walking closer to it and he could soon tell it was some kind of big cat.

Then he remembered seeing Tina go out of the hall, into the night; and he grinned.

************

Tina's POV

I didn't hear any footsteps approaching until he was right behind me, I really was hypnotised by the water I guess. "Hi," he said. I swung round to face him, instantly pulling my arms around myself for protection.

"Oh, it's you," I said, relived, " sorry I thought it would be someone else." I let my hands fall to my sides.

He was surprised by my reaction, "it's Ok," he said, "I shouldn't have sneaked up on you like that."

"I was just a thinking, I didn't hear you coming," I said feebly.

"My fault," he said, I was about to reply when he continued, "I should of coughed really loud or stamped or something on my way over."

I opened my mouth to tell him it didn't matter, but then I saw his cheeky smile and I realized he was joking. "Oh," I said stupidly and laughed. He didn't say anything else, just looked at me, I tried to look at me but his gaze was as hard to break, as Bella's was to hold. His eyes were brown and soft, like a dogs, and you fell into them; but it wasn't like with Bella's, where you were getting sucked down, it was like floating away, getting lost except that you didn't really care if you never found your way again, and part of you wanted to stay lost forever.

It was him who looked away first; he looked up at the night sky. I looked up too, he didn't say anything and I felt a bit awkward in the silence so I said, "I love stars."

He looked back at me, grinning widely, "You know I'm named after a star."

I didn't know, "which one?" I asked intrigued.

He leaned closer to me and pointed up wards at the sky, " that one" he said. I tried to look up at the sky, to concentrate on where his finger was indicating but I was too aware of his closeness to me. I felt weird and I couldn't speak properly, I made a strange moaning noise in the back of my throat. He looked down at me and saw that I was staring at his face; he chuckled to himself. He reached over and took my chin in one of his hands, I stared back into his eyes and he gently moved my head over to the side, so I couldn't see him anymore. "Look, there," he said, " that bright one."

I saw it, it stood out, and it was by far the brightest in the sky and shone out, making all the others seem dim in comparison. "Wow," I said, mesmerised, "it's beautiful."

"Yes, it is," he said, but out of the corner of my eye I distinctly noticed that he wasn't looking up at the sky anymore. I blushed and shook my head, knocking his hand away from my face in the same movement. I carried on looking up at the sky and he looked away from my face and stared around at the woods.

It was once again me who broke the silence, "why are you out here?" he just looked at me blankly, "shouldn't you be inside partying or something?" I asked nervously, trying to make my voice sound care free and relaxed.

"Oh, I um," he seemed to take a minute to reorganise his thoughts, "I had a headache, from all the people talking, it gets pretty noisy in there. I just wanted some space."

"Oh, sorry," I said, seeing what he was hinting at, " do you want me to go?"

He looked round at me, confused, then he realized what I was thinking, "No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant all of them, but you're Ok."

I didn't really know what to say to that so I didn't reply.

He opened his mouth to say something else but then we heard voices from the castle entrance, it was James and Remus, they were looking for Sirius. "I better go in" he said quickly and stood up, looking at me expectantly.

"Me too," I said also getting up.

We walked up to the castle side by side and by the time we got into good view of the two boys I could tell that they were staring at me with considerable interest. James's eyes were flicking from me to the boy beside, trying to work out what we'd been doing out here, alone, in the dark. "I better go, see you," I muttered to Sirius and speed up to get past them. Remus watched me like a hawk as I went back inside the school and as soon as I was out of sight I heard the three boys start to talk quickly. I would have stayed to listen in but a few girls came out of the hall at that moment and glared at me; so I hurried away.

Once I was upstairs and safely tucked into bed I smiled to myself; I was going home tomorrow.

I couldn't wait to get out of there.


	9. Animal Antics

My school holidays were good, really good. Don't worry; I'm not going to bore you with uninteresting tales of my average life. I love being at home though, with my family. I can just relax because I always know exactly what they're going to do. Christmas is the same every year.

The best bit is seeing my little sister, she's six now and the cutest six year old I've ever seen. She has brown hair and beautiful green eyes; she's gorgeous, absolutely perfect. She loves opening her presents on Christmas day; she sits on my lap, even though she's getting a bit big for that now. This year I got her a fairy outfit, it's great because when she puts it on it actually makes her hover of the floor by about 30cm! She loved it and spent all her time zooming around the kitchen until mum had to tell her to take it off and Auntie – oh sorry, I'm rambling, I said I wouldn't.

So, anyway, I got the station all right by myself. Mum and dad had to take Liza to the nursery. I had my bags with me and managed to carry them onto the train Ok. I found an empty carriage and sat down. After a while a few more people came in but didn't talk to me. I'd seen them all before and we quite often sat together as we had no one else to go with. None of us ever talked to each other though- it was sort of like an unsaid rule; we were all unpopular but we weren't going to join together to form a band of losers or anything.

That day was pretty boring, once we got to Hogwarts we had time for a welcome home feast and the head said a few words. During the speech I did feel a few eyes on me, which was a lot more then normal. When I turned to look at them the boys quickly looked around in other directions.

I went up to my dorm alone and wasn't expecting company but Lily and Emmeline came in, "Hi," Lily said friendlily, she seemed to have decided that she felt bad for never talking to me.

"Hi," I said back.

"How were your holidays?" she asked. Apparently she had decided that she was going to be my friend.

"They were good," I said vaguely, I don't like talking about myself. "What about you?" I like Lily, and she seemed to want to get to know me, so why should I stop her. I was nice talking to people, sometimes I felt like I might loose my voice.

"They were Ok, my parents are muggles so they don't really get magic much though. My sister…" she seemed to be searching for something to say, "has a new boyfriend, Vernon." I was sure she was going to say something else but didn't want to ask again, after all she was being nice enough to start a conversation with me, it would be rude to pry.

I didn't really know if I was meant to reply so I stayed silent.

"Me and Lil were wondering if you wanted to come see the quidditch game with us, it's in two days time." Emmenline said.

Lily smiled at me and nodded happily.

"Ok," I said, "sounds fun." I smiled at Lily and her face spilt into an even wider grin.

She squealed and hugged me, "We're going to be best friends Tina, I can just tell." We spent the rest of that evening chatting companionably to each other.

Lily has a way of making everyone feel special; she's just such a nice person. I found myself thinking that I might actually enjoy the rest of this year.

That night, I couldn't get to sleep for ages. When I finally drift of I was woken by a howling sound from outside, it sounded like some sort of wolf. I got of my bed and looked out the window, the sky was beautiful. It was a full moon and millions of stars were out. I couldn't remember which one Sirius had said he was named after, he had said it was the brightest though.

I was hot and tired and I hadn't changed for a while, I missed my other form. So I decided to go outside and stretch my legs a bit.

************

3rd Person

As the huge white moon rose higher into the sky Lupin started to writhe about on the floor, when they had first seen this transformation the others had been shocked, terrified. Now they were used to it, but they were still careful; they weren't stupid.

"Step back," said James, and they all moved away from the morphing shape on the grass before them. Once they were a safe distance from their friend, though he didn't look anything like the everyday Lupin, they looked at each other, nodded and changed.

After a minute their were no longer four boys standing on the lawn, instead their was a huge grey wolf with matted fur, a big black dog, a majestic stag and a rat, squealing on the ground.

The wolf howled, long, loud and clear into the night and bounded away into the trees. The dog barked and followed it into the woods, the stag bounded along behind. The rat, which couldn't run nearly as fast, stayed on the grass, waiting for them to re-emerge from the woods.

After a while they did and the rat ran over and crawled up the thin leg of the stag and then up onto its back. As the strange group disappeared back into the wood the dog heard something. It stopped at the edge of the wood and stared out at the school entrance.

The trees obscured its vision but it thought it saw a person step out of the great doors. It stopped and watched from the shadows, the figure stood still for a second. There was a howl from deeper in the woods and the dog span around to look; when it stared back the person was gone. There was a large shape going into the woods across from where the dog was watching. The dog had a urge to go over and investigate but there was another howl from deeper in the woods; its friends needed help.

The dog turned on its heel and ran deeper into the dark woods. It soon reached the other animals; they ran through the woods together, the wolf in between the other two large beasts. When it tries to veer of in a direction they didn't like they'd snap at it, this was how James and Sirius controlled their friend on nights like this; nights of the full moon.

Everything was going well, well normal anyway and no one had got their throats ripped out, which was good. Then, the wolf caught the scent of something, something unusual, intriguing. It was like cinnamon, pears and a strange musky smell. It was different, though strangely familiar. The wolf howled and headed in left, the stag poked at him with his antlers but the wolf pushed back harder. The stag backed away and moved to the side, the dog grabbed at the wolf back legs but the wolf kicked hard. The dog yelped as it flew backwards, whacking into a huge tree trunk.

The wolf ran off and the stag went over the dog, it pushed it back up with its huge antlers. The dog moaned and whimpered but managed to stay upright. They ran off together after the wolf, it was easy to find and they soon caught the scent that had drawn the wolf away.

When they found the wolf it was in a clearing, sniffing around, howling at the moon. Their was movement at the side of the clearing, all three turned to look as a black panther sneaked out of the trees. It stared at each of them in turn, they stared into its brown speckled eyes; eyes the dog had seen before.

There was silence for a second, then the wolf growled, it was a low grating sound and all the animals knew what it meant; he was about to attack. The panther turned just in time, the wolf snapped at its leg, and met with flesh. The panther screeched and the dog and stag jumped on the wolf, catching it unawares. The wolf yelped and released its grip on the panther, which ran off, though limping slightly and leaving a trail of blood behind it.

By the time the animals had managed to get the wolf under control, the rat had pressed the small knob by the womping willow and the two larger animals had forced the wolf down the passageway, the panther was gone. They searched the grounds for it but found no trace apart from a small spattering of blood on the school steps, which they rubbed away.


	10. Forgetting Pain

I rolled in my bed and groaned loudly at the pain in my side.

"Tina," said a voice somewhere to her left, "Tina, are you awake?"

I groaned again.

Someone poked me, bringing me back into full consciousness, which of course meant that my mind registered the horrible pain in my side that had kept me up most of the night. I resisted the urge to scream and slowly forced my eyelids to open, keeping my teeth gritted the whole time. I saw blurred figures moving around above my head and blinked again to bring them into focus.

Alice was the first to notice my open eyes, "Lily, she's awake."

Lily turned to look at me, "Tina, finally!" When I didn't reply she continued, "We tried to wake you up loads but you wouldn't budge."

"Better get up now or you'll be late," Molly, told me, fussing around with her hair in the corner of the room.

Lily looked at me more closely when I still didn't move, "Are you ok?" she asked, looking concerned now, "You look real pale."

"I'm fine," I said and smiled at her, though it may have looked like more of a grimace and certainly didn't convince her of my wellbeing. "Getting up, see" I said as I moved over, but I rolled onto my bad side and let out an exclamation of pain. Lily's eyes widened at the sound. "I'm just a bit sore," I said quickly.

"You weren't in when I came back from seeing Geoffrey," said Marlene, now that she was done getting ready and seemed to have decided there was a riddle to be solved.

I didn't look at her as I hauled myself into a sitting position on the edge of my bed.

"I reckon Tina's sore 'cause of a bit of rough hanky-panky last night if you know what I mean," Marlene winked at me, but she had that malicious grin she had on her face that she only got when she heard a good rumour. All the girls turned and looked from her to me, wondering if I was capable of such a deed. Marlene just laughed and left the dormitory.

Molly looked at me and said kindly, "Ignore her when she starts saying stuff like that, the rest of us do" before following Marlene out.

Now it was just Lily, Alice, Em and me left in the dorm, and all of them were looking at me with very worried expressions on their faces. I ignored their looks and walked over to the bathroom. I know it doesn't sound like much of an achievement, but trust me, it was.

Once inside I locked the door and lighted up my pajama bottoms to look at the hastily wrapped bandage that I had put on the wound into my thigh before falling into bed the night before. It was soaked with blood and I inwardly patted my self for thinking of them. Bloodstained PJs are not a good look in the morning, especially if you are telling people you are fine. I peeled away the bandage and winced as it pulled dried blood from the skin. The bite didn't look good, there was a huge gash just above my knee, but at least you couldn't make out the teeth marks.

I hadn't thought to bring my wand in with me, so I washed the wound with water from the tap, it quickly turned red. The cleaned wound didn't look as bad, now that I had washed all the blood away.

I heard people moving around outside and Lily called in to me hesitantly, "Tina, are you ok in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, tell Professor McGonagall I'm going to be late please" I said through the door.

"Umm … Ok" she replied, "bye then."

"Bye, see you later" I called cheerily, glad she had agreed so easily.

"You should probably go see Madam Pomfrey," Emmeline told me before I heard the door close behind them.

I breathed a sigh of relief once they were gone and hobbled out of the bathroom to get my wand. I muttered a few healing spells but they, didn't have much effect as, I guessed that was because it was a bite from a magical creature.

I wound it up in some new bandage that I got from my bag and bound them on tightly with magic. They at least gave some support for the weak leg that was starting to show signs of bruising.

I didn't want to go to lessons that day, so I decided I would stay here; exercising my injured leg and giving it time to heal. I only had Transfiguration (which I had already missed most of) and double Potions.

As I was sat on my bed, an owl knocked on the window. It was black and very battered looking, I had seen this owl before and felt dread grip my stomach as I went over to the window. It was Bella's owl.

As soon as the window was opened it dropped the letter in, giving me what could only be described as a look of contempt as it flew away. Great, even Bella's owl thought it was better then me.

I picked up the letter, which was written on a heavy parchment. The writing was in the small, twirling scrawl that I had come to link with Bellatrix Lestrange. It simply read:

Owlery 12:00 . Bella xx

I looked up at the time to see that I had just over an hour to get ready for my meeting. I got dressed slowly and brushed through my hair. I left early thinking I would need a while to walk there and wanted to have a look at the view from the Owlery. It was one of my favourite places to go and sit and escape the world. Bella had never chosen it for our meeting place before. I picked up my wand, stuffed it in my pocket and left.

I never even considered not going.

****************

The walk there was slow and painful but at least there was no one else on the corridors, they were probably all at lunch. By the time I got up to the top of the tall tower where the Owl's lived it was 11:50 and I was very tired. I sat down with my back against one of the walls, waiting for my breathing to calm and for the others to arrive.

I didn't hear footsteps until 12:20, which was strange because Bella was never late. My back stiffened and I considered standing up but decided against it.

As the footsteps got closer I came more and more tense, waiting for the barrage of spells and insults that she would probably through at me when she arrived.

But they didn't come, and neither did Bella. Instead a tall, dark haired boy bounded up the steps and into the Owlery. He stopped abruptly when he saw me curled up on the floor. "Hi" said Sirius Black.

"Hi" I said, just as stunned as he was.

"I'm just sending a letter off," he said.

"I'm just," I paused, stuck for words, "sitting" I finished stupidly.

He smiled and laughed; it wasn't his usual dog-like, overenthusiastic laugh, it was a quiet, more tame laugh, like water trickling from a stream. "I noticed," he said.

I smiled back, because I just could help it, his smile was infectious. He walked over to one of the cages and removed an Owl from it. It jumped out and landed on a perch. I watched him as he tied a small square of folded parchment to its leg.

When he was done he plonked himself down beside me, "How were your holidays?" He asked, as though we were old friends.

"Fine," I said, "Yours?" I asked.

"It was Ok, I stayed here because I didn't want to go back to my house."

"Why not?" I asked, hoping he didn't think it was rude of me to pry into his life like this.

He made a face, "Family stuff." He said.

"Oh yeah," I said, "I heard your parents weren't at all pleased when you got sorted into Gryffindor."

"Not at all pleased, livid would be a better word probably," he flashed a grin at me again, " but I don't care, I never really liked them anyway."

"Why not?" I asked, incredulous, I couldn't imagine not loving my family.

He made a face again, "They're into all this bad stuff, you know, like they really support this new guy, Lord Voldermort. They think he's got a good idea, about getting rid of anyone who's not pureblood."

I'd heard of Lord Voldermort and knew that if he did get into power it would not be good news for people like me. "Like me you mean?" I asked.

He looked over at me, confused, "you're not pureblood?"

"Completely un-magical parents," I said, shaking me head, "I have a great-aunt who does magic though, and my little sister has some."

"Or right, I'd always just assumed. You always seem like you know what you're doing in class…" he said and trailed off. "Stupid thing to think, I know, but when you've had an idea drilled into your head all your life it sort of starts to stick, whether you want it to or not." He said, seeming stressed about the fact that he may have offended me.

"It's Ok," and said and smiled at him, "I'm used to it. My parents really like magic and my great-aunt noticed the signs when I was young so it wasn't like, a shock to me or anything. My parents started ordering the wizard newspapers and stuff so that I didn't feel left out when I got to Hogwarts."

"They sound nice," he said, looking slightly forlorn.

"They are," and said and grinned.

"My mum's a bitch," he said, and looked apologetic when I blinked lots in quick succession at his outburst. "Do you have a broom?" he asked, changing the subject. When I nodded he looked overjoyed even though all I had was a flimsy clean-sweep.

We sat there for a longtime talking about god knows what, but it was fun. I really enjoyed being with him, and I didn't say anything when he edged closer to me. However, I did flinch when he put his arm round my shoulder, not because I didn't like it but because I'd hit it against a tree last night and because of all my other bruises it was quite tender.

"Sorry," he said and drew his arm away quickly.

"It's Ok," I said just as quickly, "I fell down the stairs and sort of banged it so it's just a bit sore."

"Oh, right," he said, looking relieved.

The bell went and he stood up quickly. I followed suit but cursed when I placed too much wait on my injured leg. He grabbed me under the elbow and held be still until I regained my balance, "You Ok?"

"It's from my fall," I said and smiled in an I-know-I'm-stupid-and-clumsy kind of way.

He grinned back and leaned inwards to lay a quick peck on my cheek. The skin where his lips touched tingled pleasantly. I smiled at him and he must have found that encouraging because he came closer and kissed me gently on the lips. When I still didn't complain he wrapped his arms around my back, so he was holding the back of my head and leaned closer. I could feel the heat from his body warming me up, and this time out lips met for longer then a few seconds.

The kiss was wonderful. His lips moved gently against mine. It wasn't fast and frantic; it was slow and sweet. It gave me the greatest feeling I'd ever had in my entire life: the feeling of being loved, really loved. It wasn't like there were fireworks in my mind of any of that rubbish; it just felt warm, and lovely, and safe.

When he pulled away he didn't let go of me, he just smiled at me in a happy bemused kind of way and ran his fingers through my hair.

"We better get to Potions," I said quietly, pulling him back into the here and now. He abruptly let go of me and looked towards the doors, there was no one there.

"Yeah," he said, and took my hand to start pulling me down the stairs. I winced at the pain in my leg when I moved and he frowned. "Actually," he said, "maybe you should go to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey will fix you up good as new."

As I felt the feel returning to my legs after bring sat down for so long, I also felt the pain coming back into my numbed body. "I think I will," I said.

Just this once, the threat of being discovered didn't seem to stand up to the promise of having a pain-free body.


	11. Fireman's Lift

After convincing Sirius that I could get there on my own I had hobbled in to find Madam Pomfrey sitting in her little office. The hospital wing was quiet, there was only one other person in there and they had the curtains pulled around their bed.

"What are you doing here dear?" Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and started puffing around me to see what type of ailment I had.

"Well," I said, not sure what to say, as falling down the stairs wouldn't work as an excuse once she sure the huge cut in my side. Eventually, I decided to tell the truth, or part of it anyway, "I was out in the forbidden forest and-"

"It's called 'forbidden' for a reason you know," she scolded, cutting me off halfway through my sentence which was pretty lucky actually because I had no idea what I'd tell had bitten me, "come on, and show me what you've got." I pulled up my robes to show her my bandage, "up on the bed." She ordered and unwound the material with her wand. She surveyed my wound, "that's a pretty bad one you got there …"

"Tina," I told her quickly.

"Tina," she repeated, as though testing it out. "Well, Tina, you've got a pretty bad cut here and it's going to take some mending."

See started fussing around getting various Potions, she seemed strangely keen to get me out of there, which was unusual for her, and she kept glancing at the only other occupied bed.

Finally she gave me a foul tasted potion that would help the skin heal over quicker or something along that line. I only had to sit in there for around 2 hours, which for Madam Pomfrey is pretty quick as she is notorious for making people stay in the hospital wing until she is "100 percent sure that they are completely recovered and are not at risk of catching any other illness/virus/disease/falling down any more stairs."

As I was leaving the hospital wing I noticed James and Peter going in, although they didn't say anything they both gave me rather evaluating looks and I supposed that Sirius had told them about what happened before. I looked at the floor and hurried past them.

Super was just starting but I wasn't hungry so I decided to go to Gryffindor Tower, the corridors were empty except for a few latecomers heading towards the great hall. None of them spared me a second glance.

"Gillyweed" I said to the portrait of the fat lady, and she swung open obligingly.

The common room was empty apart from a few 7th years sitting by the fire trying to get some work done while it was quiet. I passed them without making a sound and went up to my dorm. I sat on my bed, wondering what to do next.

I sat on the bed like that, staring at the blank wall beside me for a long time, thinking about everything that had happened that day. Mostly about the stuff with Sirius actually, and the feeling he'd given me.

Soon I heard girls coming up the stairs to the girl's dorm, I didn't really want to talk to any of them at that precise moment so I decided to leave, as I was going down the stairs I bumped into Molly.

"Hey, how are you?" she asked kindly.

"I'm feeling way better thanks," I smiled at her, "just fancy a bit of fresh air."

"Lily was worrying about you, what was wrong this morning?"

"Nothing," I lied, "Just didn't get much sleep and …" I trailed off because I couldn't think of another lie.

"Did you really come in late last night?" Either Molly was really nosey or couldn't take a hint.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"How come?" She looked seriously concerned so I tried not to be too rude.

"I was wondering around outside, getting some fresh air." That was the truth, sort of.

"You sure do like your fresh air don't you Tina?" She asked teasingly.

I smiled, "Yeah, guess so. Ok, bye, see you later." I started to move down the stairs.

"I'll tell Lily I saw you and that you're better."

"Ok, thanks." I shot down the staircase, praying she wouldn't ask me another question I couldn't answer, not truthfully anyway.

The common room was filling up, I spotted James, Sirius and Peter sitting by the fire; the 7th years who had been sitting there previously now sitting on a cramped table by the window, glaring at the boys warming their feet. I wondered where Remus was; they were nearly always together. Then I remembered seeing James and Peter going into the hospital wing, and the bed with the curtains drawn. I wondered why Remus was there, if that was where he was. I shook my head, that was none of my business.

As I stepped out of the common room a fresh breeze hit my face from an open window further down the corridor. I walked over to the window, it was a big one with a seat attached to it, so I sat down, leaned over to the window and looked out. The sun was setting over the forbidden forest, and for once it didn't appear as forbidding as it usually did. Suddenly I remembered the strange assortment of animals I had encountered in there last night and shuddered. I pictured the grey wolf, it's sharp teeth, and I felt strangely sick at the memory. I blinked hard trying to get the image out of my mind, I felt faint. I felt myself toppling forwards, towards the open window…

Then I felt strong arms grab my shoulders and pull me backwards off the seat and onto the floor, my bum hit the ground hard. I screamed out from the pain caused by the pressure, my leg was still a bit sore where it had been bitten.

"Sorry," said a voice quickly, "did I scare you? I just saw you leaning over the window and you seemed really unstable, so I pulled you away. Sorry."

I looked up to see Remus looking down at me in a concerned and confused fashion. He was the one who saved me from falling. "No, no, it's fine. It's better then fine, you stopped me from falling, thank you." I babbled.

"You screamed, so I thought maybe…" He was still looking concerned.

"I just hit the floor a bit hard," I said, before realizing how stupid that was, I would have hot the ground outside a lot harder if he hadn't pulled me away. "Thank you," I repeated.

He smiled at me, "no need to thank me. You should be more careful when you're sitting in front of an open window like this though."

"Sorry, I was looking out and suddenly I felt faint."

He reached down to me, offering his hand, "I'm Remus Lupin" he said.

"I know," I said as I took his hand, he raised his eyebrow at me and hoisted me of the floor, "I'm Tina Blanch."

He suddenly looked at me with more interest, "You're Tina? Gryffindor? 6th Year?"

I nodded, confused as to why he knew my name.

"Huh," he said to himself, "it's weird because I sort of recognize your face, but when the guys told me Tina I couldn't remember who it was." He looked at me- I was staring at him. He realized he'd been talking out loud and turned red, "Sorry." He said quickly.

"It's Ok."

"It's just weird that," he was off in his own little world again, "I should meet you, like this, on the same day that Sirius..." but he trailed off when he realized he was speaking properly. He turned red again, "got to get back to the common room, James and that lot will be waiting for me." He turned in the direction of the common room and sighed when I said I was going the other way.

I walked away and turned a corner, _well that was weird_, I thought just as I walked into Irving Mulciber. I toppled backwards, caught of guard.

"Well, well, well, look what I found. Charlie!" He called, and Charlton Avery walked round the corner. When he saw me lying on the floor, an evil grin spread across his face.

"Bella told us to come get you, she did," he told me conversationally, "thanks for sparing us the bother." I started to push myself off the floor but he muttered the full body-bind curse under his breath and my limbs became clamped straight. Mulciber laughed. "Carry her" Avery ordered.

The smile disappeared from Mulciber's face, "but I won't be able to get the smell off my hands for weeks!"

"Well maybe it'll be some incentive to wash your hands after you go to the toilet," said another, sneering voice. Severus Snape stepped around the corner, smirking as usual.

Mulciber made a face but lifted me over his shoulder without another complaint, he slung me over his shoulder like a sack, in what my dad always called a 'Fireman's Lift'. He always used to lift me up like this when I was little and spin me round and round until I was so dizzy from the spinning and laughing that when he put me down I fell straight down and had to stay like that, gasping, for minutes.

They sneaked around with me for a while, getting deeper and deeper into the school until they came to an unused Potions classroom. It was a favourite of Bella's.

Mulciber kicked the door open and dropped me on the floor as soon as we were inside, I would have screamed out in pain, but I couldn't move my lips, thankfully. One thing I'd learnt about this lot over the years was that they loved it when you screamed.


	12. The Dirty Details

Chapter 12- The Dirty Details

I was now lying on my face on the floor and couldn't move, which wasn't very helpful in my situation.

"Oh, you got her here quickly!" I heard Bella squeal from above my head, I heard her clapping her hands in excitement.

"Well, she came part of the way to meat us Bella," snarled Avery, I had a feeling he was intensely creeped-out by Bella's morbid excitement.

"Well, ain't that considerate?" I heard footsteps and then Bella spoke again, closer to me now. "Why is my guest lying on the floor like that? That's not very polite, now is it? Let her up!" Avery muttered something and it must have been the reversal spell because I felt my limbs relax.

I tried to not move but I really needed to stretch so I flexed my body and pushed up from the ground, tensed the whole time for the first bout or curses. But none came. I stood up and looked at the four Slytherins surrounding me. Bella grinned at me, she has a horrible smile; it's nearly scarier then her glare.

"Hi Tina, why didn't you come see me yesterday?" Bella asked, the same manic grin still plastered on her face.

I tried to not talk but I couldn't help it, "I went to the Owlery, but you weren't there."

Bella's eyes suddenly became slits, "Oh really?" she came closer. "Did you even look, Tina? Did you bother to take a quick search around to find me? No. You didn't. And if you had," she paused for a second, "you wouldn't have found me anyway! Ha! Do you want to know why? Because I was hiding!"

"Why?" I asked, so surprised I couldn't contain my curiosity.

Bella's face lit up again at my obvious intrigue, "Because, Tin my friend, because I am sly. I have got bored of just hurting you, knowing that you'll never tell anyone or complain, knowing that when I hurt you, it'll only ever be you hurting." I didn't really understand what Bella was talking about, she speaks in such a confusing way, and I think she enjoys the fact that no one ever really knows what she's trying to say. "And," she continued, "I knew that Sirius went to the Owlery at 12:30 every first day of the term. He writes to his parents, I don't know why he bothers though, they hate him; his even mum likes me better then she does him." Bella hooted to show how much this fact pleased her. Well that made sense at least; I had heard Sirius say his mum was a crazy bitch.

I leaned on one of the benches near me, staring at Bella, dreading that for once, I may have interpreted her words correctly, "But what has that got to do with me?"

She sat down on the bench I was leaning against and took my hand, forcing me to sit too, "Well Tina, since I saw you two dancing together at the ball and since I'm such a good friend of yours… I've decided to set you up!" Bella bit her bottom lip like an excited child waiting to see what her parents' thought of a surprise she made for them. I hated to think what kind of surprise was waiting for me next.

I shook my head slowly, "I don't understand."

"Well, of course you don't!" Bella laughed at me and got up, "I haven't told you yet! Be patient, can't you?" She shook her head and tuted at me, she rolled her eyes at the others. All the boys looked very confused, bored and uninterested. "It's going to be so romantic. He'll fall in love with you, you won't mean to but you will too. I'll carry on doing what I've always done, you'll go crying to him and he'll get so angry at me that he'll challenge me. Then I can kill him." Her eyes were sparkling insanely as she said this last sentence.

I was stumped, I just stared at her, mouth wide open, 'K…K…Kill?" I stuttered, eyes wide.

"Aww, don't worry," she said, then she leaned down closer to me and whispered in my ear, " you can wear black at the funeral."

I jumped away from her in an involuntary movement. She laughed, and walked away, towards the door. "Come on boys," she said, her voice hard.

"What?" said Mulciber, "but we ain't even done anything to her yet."

She glared at him, "and you're not going to this time. Tina has to look her best tomorrow, she's got someone to impress now, and he won't fall in love if she's limping around like an old granny." All three of the boys looked thoroughly disappointed, but they weren't going to argue with Bella. Not when she was acting this crazy.

Once they had all walked out and I thought Bella was about to go, she spun round suddenly and shot me her ice-cold glare, "you better play the part, because if he doesn't fall for you because you're in a strop with me, I will not be pleased. Act cut." She ordered.

I stared straight forward, wondering what to do, and she stormed out before I had made up my mind. I shook my head, this was not good: this was shit. Just when I thought things might be starting to turn ok, Bella goes and lets me in on her evil plans, and now I'll feel terrible if I go along with them, like I really really want to.

I walked out the classroom and to my relief Bella and the others had disappeared. I started on my way back to Gryffindor tower, keeping my head down. The whole time I was just thinking about how much I hated Bella, she used me and abused me and played her stupid little mind games with me. And now, she wasn't complete doing it just to me, she was going to drag others into it.

I was a pawn in her chess game, she was the black queen and Sirius the white king, and I was just there to draw him out of safety and put him in her firing line. But what colour pawn was I? Who's side was I on? Well, I was against Bella obviously, wasn't I? So why was I letting Sirius get check-mated? Shouldn't I tell him about her plan? _Oh yeah_ I thought to myself, _how cool would I seem? 'Bella wants you to fall in love with me so she can hurt me to get to you, so she can eventually kill you.' _I couldn't say that to him, I just couldn't, but why not? I shouldn't care what he thought of me; I should want him not to like me, so he couldn't get hurt. I should, but I didn't.

While I'd been thinking all this, my feet had taken me back to the Gryffindor common room. I sighed, took a deep breath, told the fat lady the password and stepped inside.

*********

3rd Person

Remus stepped into the common room; Sirius was the first to see him enter (the other two were sat facing away from the entrance hole.) Sirius waved and called out to him, Remus smiled half-heartedly and waved back at his friend.

He went over to sit with the three of them, and slumped down on the empty chair next to them all. "Hey," he said in greeting.

James raised his eyebrows, "what's up mate?"

"Still feel terrible from the other night," he told them, and paused, "and I just saw that Tina girl you were telling me about."

Sirius relaxed form straightened as he physically tensed up in his chair.

"What happened?" asked James, glancing over at his other friend tentatively.

"Well I was just walking along 'cause Madam Pomfrey had let me out of the hospital wing and I see this girl sitting looking out of the window towards the forbidden forest, with the window wide open. I couldn't see her face but I saw her back tense as she looked out, then it sort of relaxed and started drooping forward. It thought she was going to fall out of the window, I swear."

"What happened?" asked Sirius, still completely tense.

"Well I ran over and pulled her away didn't I?" Sirius relaxed a little as he learned this fact, "She screamed when she hit the floor, so I guess I pulled her back a bit roughly, but, I mean, she was going to fall!" He looked around at his friends as though he needed to gain their approval, which he felt like he did.

"Did she say anything to you?" Sirius asked him.

Remus shrugged, "not really, she just walked away toward the main hall and came here. It's weird we've never noticed her before now, don't you think?" He added, trying to change the subject. He failed.

"You saved her life," said Peter, stating the obvious, "you saved her life." He said again, incredulous.

"Why do you keep repeating it like that?" James asked irritably, glancing over at Sirius as he said it.

"'Cause he saved her life!" Peter looked exasperated when none of them reacted, "I mean," he struggled with what to say, "girl's love that!" All three of the others turned to glare at him, "b…but it's true." He said defensively. James punched him in the ribs, "ow!" Peter exclaimed.

"Shut it," James hissed. Sirius was staring straight ahead, his mouth pressed into a hard line. Remus was staring at Sirius, he glanced over a James and saw he was also looking at Sirius. Remus sent a pleading look at James, he was the only one who could normally deal with Sirius when he was this annoyed. James shrugged, he didn't know what to do. Remus looked uncomfortable, then he leaned towards Sirius and asked quietly, "You really like her don't you, Sirius?"

Sirius looked like he was about to answer but he got cut off when Lily walked over, closely followed by Emmeline. "Hey" she greeted them all and smiled.

"Hi Lily flower!" James smiled like an idiot, even more pleased to see her then normal.

Lily looked annoyed and rolled her eyes at his reaction, but a smile pulled at her lips. She ignored it and shook her head, "I was wondering if any of you guys had seen Tina? You know, the one who shared our dorm." She looked hesitant as to whether they would even know her.

"Yes actually, Remus saw her just a moment ago, outside the port hole," James told her.

Lily looked surprised that he hadn't simply asked who she was; James wasn't one to notice others. She looked at him curiously for a second but then concentrated on Remus instead, "did she seem alright to you?"

Remus shrugged, he didn't really want to talk about Tina, not in front of Sirius anyway.

"It's just she didn't seem too well this morning…" Lily said, hoping for a reaction.

"'Cause of her fall" Sirius said.

"What? What fall?" Lily asked, confused

"She fell down the stairs," said Sirius, feeling unsure of himself, after all, she had been acting a bit strange when she's told him that, "that's what she told me anyway."

"She didn't say anything about it to me, " Lily said, then he eyes sharpened, "when did she tell you that?" she asked, in an accusatory manner.

"Today, in the Owlery, round 12:30" Sirius told her, "we just bumped into each other there, we weren't like meeting or anything…" he trailed of.

Lily raised her eyebrows but didn't push the subject, she looked round at the four boys and none of them added any more information. "I didn't know you guys were friends with her." She said, probing them for information.

"We aren't, Lily flower, not really," said James chirpily, "but then, any friend of yours is a friend of mine." He said, grinning at her.

She snorted at him, "Like any of my friends would have such bad taste, that they would be friends with you" She said, and walked away.

Once she was gone Emmeline looked at the boys apologetically, "Sorry guys."

"It's fine," James said, "don't worry about it Em."

"We never really used to talk to Tina, but since the ball Lily's been making a real effort with her. I think she feels bad for ignoring her like everyone else." Emmeline smiled at her four friends.

"Yeah, we didn't really know who she was either, until the ball, and today…" James said absentmindedly.

"What happened today?" Emmeline asked, looking curious now.

Remus and James both glanced at Sirius but he just shook his head a tiny bit and James said, "We'll tell you another time, Em. Don't want Lily thinking you have 'bad taste', you might not be able to get the inside scoop for us anymore." He winked at her.

She laughed, "Ok, yeah, true. You better tell me though." Then she walked away and followed Lily up to the girls dormitories.

The four sat their for a while in complete silence, Sirius staring dreamily into the fire, James speculating about Sirius' feelings for Tina, and that half smile he'd seen pulling at Lily's lips. Remus was looking out of the window at the dark night and Peter was tentatively trying to pick his nose without the others noticing.

"Well," said Remus breaking the silence and looking around, Peter's hand dropped quickly down to his side, "I think I'm gonna go up now, I'm all tired out." Remus told them.

"I'll go with you," Peter jumped up quickly, not wishing to be left on his own with the brooding Sirius and agitated James.

Remus stood, "you two coming up?" he asked them, not particularly wanting to be left alone with the ridiculous Peter.

James looked at Sirius, who said, "No, I'll come up later."

"Yeah, me too," said James and as the others walked away he called, "see you in a bit guys." Remus raised a weary hand in goodbye and Peter waved enthusiastically as he turned up the stairs to their dorm.

Once they had started up Peter suddenly said, "Damn, I need to do my transfiguration homework for tomorrow, I'll go back down, see you Remus."

He made to turn but Remus' hand shot out and grabbed him by the shoulder, "you can do it in the morning Peter." Peter looked shocked, Remus usually said never to put work off. "Those two need to talk, James is the only one who can get the truth out of Sirius" Remus said simply and pulled a surprised and slightly perturbed Peter up after him.

Downstairs Sirius had leaned forward and was now sitting with his head in his hands. "What's up mate?" James asked, seriously worried, he'd never seen his friend like this before.

"It's that girl, I can't get her out of my head, her smile, her voice, the way she kisses…" he trailed of dreamily.

"Woah!" said James, holding up his hands, "no need to tell me the dirty details." He paused for thought, "When did you kiss?" he asked.

"Today, in the Owlery."

James wasn't surprised by how fast this kiss had happened; Sirius had been known to go through over three girls in one day. "So, are you gonna ask her out?" he questioned uncertainly, after all it did seem like the obvious thing to do.

"I don't know, I want to but," Sirius paused as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say, "this feels different, different from all the other times. _She's _different, different from all the other girls." Sirius stopped but James simply waited for his friend to elaborate. "With all the others it was easy, easy to just confidently waltz up to them and ask them out and stuff. But with Tina, I don't know, it's like, it's like, I'm scared." He finished, his own eyes widening as if he had only just realized that what he said was true.

"Scared of what?" asked James.

Sirius took his head from his hands and looked up at his friend "Of rejection" he answered.

James looked surprised, "but any girl could reject you mate." He told Sirius.

Sirius looked up at him and raised one eyebrow, "please, I'm Sirius Black, I have my own fan club." Sirius wasn't being obnoxious, it was just the truth; no girl in the school would pass a chance to go on a date with him. Except maybe one…

James thought about this for a second and then nodded in agreement, "but you've kissed right? So why would she say no?"

Sirius shook his head, "I don't know, and that's what's killing me. With every other girl I have known there is no reason they would turn me down, with her I'm not so sure."

"Just ask her, see what she says" James was getting worried about Sirius now, he had never really got this wound up about a girl before.

"But what if she says no?" asked Sirius. Then he thought of something and his head shot up, "Lily rejects you all the time, how do you cope?"

James blushed slightly and shrugged, "I dunno, I guess I'm just used to it," and for a second he stared dismally into the fire just as Sirius had been before, then he shook himself and smiled, "plus, I know one day she'll succumb to my manly charms and say yes."

Sirius chuckled but didn't look completely satisfied, "I'm not used to it at all though…" he said quietly to himself.

James got up, "I'm going up now Sirius, don't worry too much about this girl by the way, you've never been like this before" he said as he stood.

"I'll be up in a bit," said Sirius.

James shrugged and walked away, he didn't like his friend being this bothered about something and he wanted to talk longer, but he couldn't take any more talk of Lily and the many rejections he had got from her. "Just ask her tomorrow" he called to his friend as he went up the stairs.

Once James was gone Sirius sat there for a while pondering his parting words, should he ask her tomorrow? He wanted to so much but, he couldn't bring himself to speak the words, and he knew it. He was too scared, and he hated to admit it. He would tell no one but James, and he knew James wouldn't tell anyone either, after all he did no plenty of dirt on his best friend that he could dig up if needs be.

It had never been like this before, he'd never had to hide his feelings in fear of them getting hurt. If he'd fancied a girl, he'd just gone up to her and asker her out, and she'd said yes, with a huge smile on her face. And later, he'd dumped her like all the rest. That was how Sirius Black worked, always had.

It wasn't like that this time though, it was different, she was different. She might say no, but it wasn't just the uncertainty that was getting to him, he'd asked out girls before who's feelings he hadn't been sure of. He hadn't been nervous then, but maybe that was because he wouldn't really of minded if they'd said no.

He put his head in his hands and groaned, he wasn't up to thinking about all this feelings shit. He liked his life simple; he liked to know what was going on, to be the one holding the cards.

He got up from his seat by the fire and walked over to the stairs, there he paused just for a second, then went up to bed.

As he disappeared round the corner of the stairs, a girl sneaked inside. As she crossed the common room she thought she heard footsteps on the stairs, she paused for a second, listening. When she didn't hear anything else she walked over to the stairway and disappeared up to the girls dorm for another restless night.

Sirius, halfway up the stairs, heard someone down below, he paused, wondering whether or not to go down and see who it was. His curiosity got the better of him but when he peaked around the corner there was no one there, he sighed, thinking he must have imagined the noise and went up to his dorm for another sleepless night.


	13. Morning ChitChat

Disclaimer- It's not mine * sniff * I wish it was, but it's not :'(

Chapter 13- Morning Chit-Chat

I woke up early the next morning (well, I say 'woke up' but to do that I would have actually had to have been asleep for a reasonable amount of time, got up is probably more appropriate.) So, I got up and saw that everyone except for Emmeline was still asleep. I sat up, I could hear Emmeline getting ready in the bathroom; she was probably going to go down to breakfast early. I decided I would do the same.

I pulled myself out of bed, rubbing my puffy eyes, and dragged myself over to the bathroom. It was sparkling clean, probably because of Molly and Lily, who were both obsessive cleaners. Both their beds were always immaculate, unlike Marlene's who had clothes thrown all over hers. Alice wasn't untidy, in fact she spent quite a lot of time tidying, but she was so clumsy that she would normally trip over the pile of clothes she had just spent half and hour carefully sorting out and stacking. Emmeline and me simply didn't move much around, apart from clothes and other essential items, so our beds were pretty tidy.

My mum always used to tell me that you could tell what a woman was like by looking at her dressing table and I couldn't help thinking, as I was looking at Lily's makeup, that she was right. I wasn't really sure how Lily ordered her make-up, maybe by the order she put them on? Or by colour? I stood there for a minute staring down at Lily's make-up when Emmeline came out of the bathroom, brushing her hair.

She looked surprised to see me, "You look like you're concentrating very hard there."

I laughed embarrassedly and blushed, "I was trying to work out how Lily's make-up was arranged." I admitted to her.

She nodded her head in realization and came over to me, "look," she said, pointing down at them, "It's quite simple once you know how it's done. The row going across is the order she puts them on, and then these columns are darkest shade at the top and lightest at the bottom."

"Arrhhh," I said, still unsure, she looked over my confused face. I glanced over at her and we both burst out laughing.

She stopped and smiled broadly at me, her face lighting up as she did so, "it's mad, I know, but then that's Lily for you."

"How do you know all that?" I asked.

She shrugged, "Once I borrowed her eye shadow and put it back in the wrong place, she taught me how it was done then."

I laughed again, and she went over and put her hairbrush on her bedside table, "I'm going down to breakfast," she told me.

"Ok," I said, "see you in a bit."

"Yeah," she said, and walked over to the door. We smiled at each other companionably, and then she was gone.

I got dressed quickly, and checked my reflection in my small, hand-held mirror. I looked a mess, my hair was all tangled and there were huge bags under my eyes. I picked up my hairbrush and brushed it until it lay shining on my shoulders. There was nothing I could do with the rest though, I sighed and put my brush and mirror back down on my otherwise empty dressing table.

**********

I walked into the dining hall, which was practically empty apart for a few small gaggles of students scattered around the hall. I walked over to the Gryffindor table where there were two groups of students. One, about halfway down, was made up of 1st years that obviously wanted to get all the good food before it was gone. They hadn't been here long enough to know that the house elves cooked copious amounts of everything and that no food would ever 'run out' at Hogwarts.

Normally I would have sat down at the end on my own, but as I was about to do so, someone called to me from the other end of the table: Emmeline. I walked over there, and saw that she was sitting with James, Sirius and Remus. I sat down beside them, feeling awkward.

The marauders don't seem to know the meaning of the word awkward, "Hi Tina!" said Sirius, grinning all over.

I smiled back at him, shyly, "Hi Sirius."

"Oi," said James, banging into his friend on top of the head, "quit drooling will you, padfoot?"

Sirius pulled an indignant face and said, "I was not drooling" whilst rubbing the top of his head.

"Were too" said James.

"Was not!" answered Sirius, looking thoroughly annoyed now.

"Were!" James stuck his tongue out at Sirius.

"Wasn't!"

"Were!"

"No, I wasn't!" Sirius bashed James over the head, "stop being so bloody childish."

"I wasn't!" exclaimed James, rubbing his head in pain.

"Yes you were."

"No, I wasn't!"

"Were!"

"I wasn't! How was I?"

"By going 'were, were, were'." Sirius adopted a high-pitched girly voice when copying James' words.

"You were the one having a little tantrum, 'wasn't, wasn't, wasn't'!" James used a similarly high voice when imitating Sirius.

"I do not sound like that!" Sirius bellowed.

"Well, neither do I!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

Remus chuckled at his friends and looked across the table at Emmeline and me, "Sorry about this," he said, "but it could go on for a while…"

"It's fine, we don't mind," Emmeline grinned at him.

Remus grinned back at her, then looked at me, "You'll get used to them." He said kindly, as I was looking rather shocked.

"After a while," said Emmeline, giggling.

"They're not that bad…" I said unsurely, we all looked over at Sirius and James who were now arguing over whether or not James would look good with bright pink pigtails.

Me, Emmeline and Remus looked at each other, trying not to laugh. Emmeline was the first to give up, me and Remus followed soon after.

Sirius and James looked over at us, both looking very annoyed, "and _what_ are_ you_ laughing at?" James asked us.

Emmeline was the first to compose her self. "Your maturity," she answered, sticking her out at him.

James made a face at her, "Hilarious," he said dryly.

"Don't mind him, he ain't had his morning coffee yet," Sirius said, and winked at me and Emmeline.

"What you guys up to today?" Emmeline asked, "Got anything good planned?"

"That would be telling," said Sirius slyly.

Emmeline raised her eyebrows at him, "come on, spill" She ordered.

"Can't Ems," said James, as he reached over to grab a cup of coffee, "It wouldn't be a surprise if we did."

"Aww, you've always told me stuff before," Emmeline looked annoyed, "I've never told anyone!"

"They're joking, Ems," said Remus, "calm down."

At this moment Peter plonked himself down beside James, "who needs to calm down?" he asked.

"Em" said Sirius.

"No, I don't" she protested.

"Yes you do," replied Sirius sneakily.

"No, I don't," Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but Emmenline stopped him, "and do not start that all over again Sirius, unlike you, I am not a six year old."

"Whatever," said Sirius, still grinning broadly.

Everyone was silent for a moment and then James looked at me, "So, Tina," he said, "tell us a bit about your self?"

I looked confused, but Emmeline groaned, "Do not answer him." She warned me, "He did it to me when I first started hanging out with these guys, it's like twenty questions."

I laughed nervously, I don't like talking about myself, "When was that?" I asked, as the question came into my head.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, when did you first start hanging out with this lot?"

"Ohh," said Emmeline, understanding what I was trying to ask, "in about 4th year." She answered.

"She's our spy!" exclaimed Peter, excitedly, wanting to be included in the conversation.

James rolled his eyes at Peter.

"What?" I asked confused.

"She goes under cover and collects information on what's going on with the girls for us!" said Sirius, mimicking Peter's excitement. James laughed at him. "I don't know why you're laughing," said Sirius, "she only does it to tell you stuff about Lily."

"No, she doesn't," James paused for a second, "she's our friend as well!"

Emmeline laughed and poked him, "I should think so."

I laughed along with the rest at them, and reached out to get a piece of toast. Sirius did at the same time, and for a second, our hands touched. I looked up at him, and smiled shyly. He smiled back at me.

I took a piece of toast and stared down at it, concentrating way harder then usual on spreading the butter across its surface evenly.

"It's new year in a few days" said Remus.

"Are you guys having a party?" Emmeline asked.

"Em," said James disapprovingly, "if you knew us at all, you wouldn't even have to ask."

"It's going to be so good," said Peter, "way better then last year!"

"In the usual room?" asked Em.

"Yeah," said Sirius.

"It's weird," said Emmeline, "but I tried to find it before but couldn't. It's like it disappeared." The boys all glanced at each other guiltily, as if one of their secrets had been uncovered, which perhaps it had. Emmeline's eyes narrowed, "why do you guys never let me in on your secrets?"

"Umm," said James, looking uncomfortable.

"I'll tell you Em," said Remus, Sirius head shot round, "come on guys I think she deserves to know!" Emmeline's eyes softened as Remus spoke up in her defence.

"Where is this classroom again?" I asked suddenly, as I remembered something.

"Third floor," said Sirius, eyeing me warily, "near the picture of that guy teaching ogres to dance or something."

My eyes widened, "Oh." I said.

"What?" asked James, alert now.

"Nothing," I said, but no one believed me, they just all kept staring, I blushed bright red, "It's just that, like, I know a room around there, that's sort of hard to find, sort of, if you don't know what you're looking for, that is." Oh god, I was babbling.

"How do you know about it?" asked Sirius, surveying me curiously.

I go there when I need to cry without being heard, or when I need medical supplies I don't have with me. I shrugged, "just found it once, by accident." Well, that was true; I had found the room of requirement once in 3rd year, when I was running backwards and forwards along that corridor, trying to find an open classroom to hide from Bella in.

"What is _it_?" asked Emmeline; annoyed she was the only one who didn't know.

"The room of requirement," said Remus.

"What?" asked Emmeline, confused.

"If you walk past that picture, 3 times, thinking of something then a room appears to fit your need," Emmeline looked confused, "we think 'we need a room for the new year party where we won't be found by teachers' 3 times and a door appears."

Emmeline's eyes widened in astonishment, "wow, how come no one else knows about it?"

"We found it when we were running away from filch one time, we didn't tell anyone and," here Sirius' eyes flicked over to me, "we didn't think anyone but us knew about it."

"Have you ever told anyone?" Peter asked me.

I shook my head, who did I have that I would tell?

"Are you sure?" Peter's eyes narrowed with mistrust.

"Shut up Peter," Sirius told him, looking annoyed, "we don't own it you know."

"It's _our_ secret room though," Peter argued, "where we go to do stuff."

"Wow," said Sirius, "you really made us sound so gay just then Peter, well done."

Peter didn't look satisfied but he wasn't going to pick an argument with Sirius, not without someone else to back him up anyway.

Everyone was silent for a bit and I ate my toast slowly, chewing each bite, concentrating extremely hard on not looking up at Sirius (who, I was 97.5% sure was, staring at me.)

"Will Lily come to the party?" James asked eagerly.

"Probably" said Emmeline unsurely, not wanting to encourage James too much, his face lit up anyway. She saw his expression and said warningly, "but don't try to get her under some mistletoe."

James looked offended, "what makes you think I will do that?"

Emmeline rolled her eyes, "because you have done every other year."

Sirius chuckled and James pouted, "but I can tell that this year she really really wants me to."

"No James," said Emmeline, "she doesn't."

James nodded emphatically, "she does, she does, because I saw her nearly smile at me last night. When she was asking about Tina."

I looked up at the mention of my name, surprised, "she was asking about me?"

"Yeah, she wanted to know where you were," James said, "Sirius told her about your fall."

Oh shit.

"How come you didn't tell us about that Tina?" asked Emmeline, suddenly looking concerned now that she had been reminded of my 'fall'.

I shrugged, turning slightly red and staring down at my now empty plate, "didn't want to worry you, it was nothing really." Sirius opened his mouth to say something but I cut across him, "Madam Pomfrey's sorted it out now anyway," I said, pleading to Sirius with my eyes not to carry on the discussion.

"So," he said to Emmeline, she turned to look at him, "did Lily smile at James? Does she like him?" Emmeline's eyes narrowed when she realized Sirius was changing the subject, they momentarily flicked to me. James was gagging to know the answer to Sirius' question, so she sighed and answered.

"Maybe she did, but it really doesn't make much difference, she still won't want you to throw yourself on her," she may have realized she was being a bit harsh so she added, "if she is starting to like you, it won't help. Trust me on this James."

"I do trust you Em," said James, looking thoroughly deflated.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lily, Molly and Alice walking into the great hall, I nudged Emmeline and tilted my head in their direction. "Sorry lads," said Emmeline, pulling me up, "we have to go, don't want to blow our cover."

They all looked up to see what she meant, "Bye then," said James, still not looking his best.

"See you," said Remus.

"Goodbye fair maidens, I guess our morning chit-chat session has sadly come to an end," said Sirius, blowing us each a kiss.

I giggled and blushed, "Bye Sirius," I said, "James, Remus, Peter." I inclined by head at each of them.

"See you Remus," said Emmeline, "James, Sirius, Peter."

Peter looked up from his scrambled egg and beans when we said his name, "Bye," he said. His mouth was still full of egg and he sprayed James as he spoke.

"Urrrhh, that's disgusting Peter!" yelled James, wiping himself down, as Sirius guffawed.

Peter swallowed what was left in his mouth, "Sorry James," we heard him mumble as we walked away.

"I didn't know you were friends with all of them," I told Emmeline quietly as we walked away.

She shrugged, "Not many people do, it would be pointless trying to explain it to Lily. So we just keep it quiet, they're really nice guys though, once you get to know them."

"Yeah, they seem like it," I said, almost to myself. Emmeline glanced at me in a knowing sort of way, "What?" I asked. She just shook her head and smiled to herself.

"I think you know," she said. I blushed but didn't reply.

"Hey Lily," I said, as we neared them, more pleased then usual to see them.

"Hi!" She replied cheerily, we sat down at the table. "Are you better?" she asked me.

"Yeah, I'm feeling fine thanks."

"How come you didn't tell us you fell down some stairs?" asked Lily, looking hurt that I would confide in Sirius but not her.

I shrugged, "didn't want to worry you." I said.

"Well that's stupid," exclaimed Molly from Lily's left, "Lily worries about everyone anyway."

I laughed and Lily looked annoyed. "I don't."

"Yes you do," said Molly.

Emmeline and me looked at each other, and I could tell we were both thinking about how similarly the two girls were acting to how James and Sirius were before. I giggled, immediately regretting it when Lily's head swung round to look at me. "What?" she asked me.

"Nothing," I replied looking down, no one in their right mind would tell Lily she reminded them of James.

Lily's eyes narrowed and she looked from me to Emmeline suspiciously, "I meant to ask you, but I got sidetracked," here she glared at Molly. "Was that Sirius, Remus and Peter I saw you sitting with when we came in?" She purposely didn't mention James' name.

"Umm, well," Emmeline stuttered.

"We came down early for breakfast and it was either sit with them or the Slytherins, so…" I shrugged. Emmeline sighed. "Is that Ok with you?" I asked Lily innocently, I knew how much she hated to nag or boss people around.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said unwillingly.

"They're throwing another new years eve party this year," said Emmeline.

"Ohh," said Alice, sipping on a cup of steaming hot tea, "are we going?"

Her question was mainly addressed to Lily who looked unsure, "I don't want him to try and kiss me again, like before."

"You never know, he might not this year," said Molly.

"Yeah," chimed in Alice, "he might decide to give up, it could be his new year's resolution! Not to talk to you or ask you out again."

Lily looked slightly upset but only for a second, "I wish." She said.

Just then Marlene came into the slowly filling up hall and sat beside us, "What are you guys talking about?" She inquired, looking bored.

"The new years party James and Sirius are throwing," said Molly.

"and Remus," said Emmeline, suddenly I noticed her blush bright red, "and Peter helps aswell, they all help a bit." She said quickly.

"Great," said Marlene, reaching for some food.

"So, are we going or not?" asked Molly.

Lily shrugged moodily.

Just then I noticed the boys getting up from the other end of the table, James started walking in our direction in a very determined way. The others followed after him, Sirius looking amused, Remus slightly exasperated and Peter, well looking like Peter.

"Incoming," said Molly. Lily automatically turned to look, then purposely stared in the opposite direction and started playing with her hair.

Marlene rolled her eyes and turned to stare at the approaching boys, "Hello fellas, what can we do for you?" she asked, raising one eyebrow at them.

James stopped about a meter away from where I was sitting, "Hey Marlene, Molly, Alice, Tina, Emmeline" we all smiled at him. "Hello Lily," he said hopefully.

She simply glanced over at him, gave him a very calculating look, said, "Hello James," and looked away.

James quite upset and stared at Lily like a pining puppy.

Sirius obviously realised that his friend was out of the loop for a while, "we were wondering if you could help us out a bit."

"And how can we do that?" asked Marlene.

"By doing the decorating for the new years party," answered Sirius, grinning.

"Why would we do that?" asked Alice calmly.

"Out of the kindness of your beautiful hearts," said Sirius, stunning her with one of his trademark smiles. I giggled and he glanced over at me, he smiled and I grinned back before staring down at my lap embarrassedly.

Marlene glanced between us and looked at the ceiling, "well, I think I'll let Lily decide." She looked over at Lily, "Lils?" she asked, "What do ya say?"

We all turned to look at Lily (apart from James, obviously, who had already been staring at her throughout the entire conversation.) "Well," said Lily slowly, "I suppose we could help you out," she turned to look at James warningly, "but only for the good of everyone else. I swear, the decorations you put up last year were hideous, and what was with all the mistletoe?"

Sirius shrugged, "it's to get a girl under, ayy James?" he laughed.

"Urgh, shut up," said Marlene, "you're so predictable Sirius."

Sirius put his hands up, "hey, calm it. It wasn't for me anyway, I don't need any of that naff stuff to get a girl to snog me." He glanced over a James, then Lily, then me and then he turned bright red. "We best be going then lads, don't want to outstay our welcome, do we?"

"But," said James weakly, still staring at Lily, who was playing with a paper napkin, turning it into a flower. Sirius grabbed him and walked away, Peter followed them.

"See you then," said Remus.

"Bye" we all said in unison.

Remus glance around at all of us, and I noticed that his gaze staying on Emmeline a second longer then any others. She smiled warmly at him, and continued smiling at his back whilst he walked away quickly, trying to catch up with his friends.

"Well, why the hell did you agree to that?" asked Marlene. Lily shrugged. "He'll just be trying to get with you the whole time," Lily didn't say anything. "Is that what you want?" asked Marlene, he eyes becoming sharper, "it is isn't it Lily? It is isn't it?"

Lily stared down at the table, "shut up Marlene."

"Arrh, god you're unbelievable, act all coy and stuff, like you want him to leave you alone. But you love it really don't you? All the attention?"

"Shut up Marlene," said Alice, she looked just as surprised as the rest of us after she'd said it.

"Oh, shut up yourself!" said Marlene, her voice starting to rise, "just cause you're so in love with the only idiot who will have you."

"He's not an idiot!" Alice said, looking hurt.

Marlene laughed, "quite pouting Alice and his last name is longbottom! Longbottom! Come on!"

"Shut up!" shouted Alice.

"You know what, I hope you're very happy together. Mr and Mrs Longbottom, you'll make a lovely couple, you're both as stupid as each other!"

"Leave her alone Marlene! What the fuck is this all about?" Lily jumped up just as Alice slumped back down into her chair.

"What is all what about?" Marlene snarled.

"All this? Saying that horrible stuff to Alice," Lily motioned to Alice's now empty seat, she looked at the exit and saw Alice running out.

"I'll go," said Molly, and ran out after Alice.

I glanced over at Emmeline, she gulped.

"See what you've done now," said Lily, glaring at Marlene.

"Well, I'm sorry I can't be perfect like you," snapped Marlene.

"Is that what this is about, are you jealous of Lily?" Marlene and Lily looked around to see who had spoken, it was me. I gulped.

"Who the hell do you think you are? No on even knew who you are till we did some stupid little makeover on you, I don't see why you didn't even look nice, I don't see why he-" Marlene stopped dead when she realised what she'd said.

"Is that it, are you jealous of Tina?" Emmeline asked.

Marlene swirled round, "don't even get me started on you." She spat before turning on her heel and stalking away.

"What was that about?" asked Emmeline, once she was out of ear shot.

Lily shrugged, looking embarrassed, "well, she likes you-know-who…"

"Who?" I asked, confused.

"Sirius."

"Ahhh," said Emmeline, glancing over at me in a knowing way.

"What?" I asked, looking between the two of them, "What was that 'Ahhh' for?"

"Well, she doesn't like being overlooked," said Lily slowly, "She doesn't like being rejected."

"Sirius rejected her?" I asked, butterflies starting in my stomach.

"Well, he didn't need to, it's obvious he doesn't like her," said Emmeline quietly.

"He likes you," said Lily.

"No he doesn't," I said shaking my head.

"He does, it's really obvious," said Emmeline, watching me carefully.

"And you like him too," said Lily.

"Don't be stupid," I said, "Nothing's going on, it can't, it never can. He can't like me."

"Tina, what's wrong?" asked Emmeline.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said, and hurried away, they didn't follow me.

I'm stupid. Do you want to know why? Because in all the fun, carefree morning chit-chat I had forgotten one very important thing; my life is full of shit and stupidness and nothing is ever a simple happily-ever-after. But I guess that's just the way things are, I don't let it get to me. I go on, enjoying the good bits, trying to forget the bad. But most of the time I just run in circles for that bitch Bella. So I can't let anything happen with me and Sirius, because it will end badly for everyone involved. Marlene can have him, I hope she takes him, it would make it so much easier if he would just like her.


	14. Tingle

I had double potions first thing so I decided to go there early after running out of the great hall. I hoped Lily and Emmeline wouldn't ask me about Sirius again, I didn't no what I could say without explaining to them why I couldn't go out with him. I know I was probably being righteous and stupid but I felt like if I went out with him it'd feel like I was betraying him, setting him up for Bella.

When I got to the classroom there was no one else there apart from a few early Ravenclaws. I sat down at an empty table at the back of the classroom. After about 5 minutes 3 Hufflepuffs walked in and sat down at a table at the front, then 4 Slytherins (Bella, Snape, Avery and Rodolphus Lestrange), another set of Ravenclaws came in and sat at the table nearest the others. Now there was only my table, where Lily and Alice would join me, and one other, where James, Sirius and Remus would go.

The boys came in first, James sat down at the only empty table and Sirius and Remus walked over to me and sat down.

"Umm," I said, "why have you left James on his own?"

"It's all part of his mater plan to get with Lily" Sirius informed me.

"Oh," I said, I looked at the set out again and realised that now Lily and Alice would be forced to sit with James.

"Sorry to drag you into it," said Remus, "we know you'd prefer to sit with your friends."

"You're my friends too," I said quickly, they both looked surprised, "right?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course," said Remus, he smiled. Sirius grinned too.

"But if Lily asked you forced me to sit with you," I said.

Sirius chuckled, "yeah ok."

"Just for the record I don't think this is gonna help at all. Lily likes to concentrate in lessons and she'll probably find James annoying. Especially if he ruins their potion."

Sirius chuckled again and leaned towards James, "I've got a little tip for you mate, try and be clever or Lily will kill you."

James suddenly looked very anxious, "but I'm no good at potions." He exclaimed.

"It would probably be best then if you just left Lily to it, don't talk to her while she's busy working, it will annoy her. Once she's finished she'll be in a good mood though because it will probably be about half an hour before everyone else is done and Professor Slughorn will have complimented her on being a genius."

James looked thankful for my tip and opened his mouth to express his gratitude but just then he spotted Lily and Alice walking along down the empty corridor. "Shit," he said, panicking, "Sirius, swap with me, I can't do this, she'll eat me."

Sirius laughed, a low rumbling almost like a dog's growl, "Sorry mate, but there's two sides to this plan remember."

Just then Lily and Alice entered the room, straight away they saw that the only table they could sit at together was the one with James on it. Lily looked over at me and shot me a death stare; I shrugged in an 'I couldn't stop them' kind of way.

Lily sat down grudgingly next to James, Alice beside her looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"So, are either of you any good at Potions?" I asked hopefully as Professor Slughorn walked in.

"Remus is," Sirius said, "so we'll just leave him to do all the work."

I was about to open my mouth to say that that didn't seem like a very fair thing to do but Sirius shot one of his breathtaking smiles at me. "Sounds like a plan," I said, staring dreamily into his eyes.

Slughorn had written on the board the potion that we had to make and the page on our books were we could find the instructions. I read it slowly; we were going to be making the Dreamless Sleep Potion.

"I don't see the point of that," said Sirius, "I never remember my dreams so it wouldn't make any difference whether I had them or not. What about you?" he asked me.

I blushed bright red, "I remember some of them," I confessed. The last dream I remembered did in fact feature Sirius quite centrally.

Sirius noticed my blush and he seemed to guess something from it, "want to tell me about one?" He asked grinning cheekily.

I stared him straight in the eyes for a second or two and then with a gargantuan effort I dragged them away. I turned to Remus, "would you like me to get you anything from the storeroom?" I asked him.

"Uhh," he said, staring down at his book, "could you go to the storeroom and get me some frog's eyes, snake skin and …umm… two frozen Ashwinder eggs."

I got up from my seat and went into the store cupboard, I stood there for a second longer then I needed to, giving myself a little mental scolding for staring at Sirius in such a dreamy way. He was just a normal boy; his eyes were just normal eyes.

Just then James walked in, "Shit," he was saying to himself, "where do I find two Ishfindle eggs?"

"I think you mean Ashwinder," I said to him, he jumped when I spoke as he hadn't noticed me when he walked in, he'd been too preoccupied with worrying about the 'Ishfindle' eggs. "They're here," I said, and got two down for him."

"Thanks," he sighed, "you're a lifesaver, literally, Lily would have killed me if I got this wrong." Well, I wasn't going to argue with that.

"No problem," I said, and walked out of the storeroom, James hurrying out soon after me and practically sprinting over to Lily.

She looked surprised to see him back so quickly, obviously she had been expecting him to take ages. She looked even more amazed when she realised he'd got the right stuff for her, she smiled at him in a bemused kind of way and James grinned back (even more bemused looking then Lily).

I turned away from watching them to see Sirius watching them also. "He really likes her doesn't he?" I asked.

Sirius looked away from them, straight at me, "he's obsessed, has been for years."

"I reckon if he backed of a bit then she might start to like him more, he comes at her so much, it gets annoying." Sirius and me sat pondering that thought for a minute or two, until I said, "I think she likes him back."

"You do?" Sirius asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah, he just needs to give her time to realise that for herself, if you know what I mean," I replied. I knew a lot more about most of the people in this school then they thought, when you're invisible you see, hear and notice things that you don't if people pay attention to you.

Sirius was staring at me, "but if she likes him why doesn't she say yes when he asks her out?"

"Maybe she's scared, for so long he's been asking her out and she's worried that if she says yes he might not find her interesting anymore. Or maybe she thinks he's too immature or she's worried they don't have anything in common and it will be really horrible once they go out, and she quite likes it how it is now. She also doesn't want the whole school watching them."

Sirius looked miffed, "but that's stupid, if he didn't find her interesting then he'd have stopped stalking her by now and the whole school is watching them anyway."

"Girl's over think things, especially relationship related stuff. Girls can find the stupidest reasons not to go out with a boy, even one they really like," I told him.

Sirius was silent for a moment, "Girl's are weird," he said simply. Well what a little gem that thought was. We were both quiet for a moment, I looked down at the table, Sirius was still thinking about James and Lily. Suddenly he seemed to realise something, "I didn't mean that you're weird, when I said that, when I said girls are weird."

"So you don't group me with girls?" I asked, laughing slightly.

"No, no, of course you're a girl, I know you're a girl," Sirius started to say hurriedly, he spotted me biting my lip to try and keep myself from laughing at him. "Are you laughing at me?" He asked.

"No," I said shaking my head, "it's just, boys are weird."

Sirius smiled and poked my side playfully; "hope you're not talking about me when you say that," he said.

I made a face of mock horror, "Me? No!" I exclaimed, "I'd never call you a boy."

Sirius laughed, really laughed, and I laughed too. I got so lost, so caught up in his laugh; I could listen to it for hours. It was deep and loud, almost like a dogs growl, apart from that it wasn't a defensive or aggressive noise; it was free and playful and full of mirth. You could tell he was really laughing, not just fake laughing to make you feel better after cracking a terrible joke, he really found what I had said funny.

A quiet cough from the other side of the table drew my attention away from Sirius and his rumbling laugh. I looked over to see Remus, bright red in the face panting over the cauldron and stirring maniacally. "Could I have a little help here?" he asked pleadingly.

"What should we do?" I asked, keen for a distraction from Sirius and his bewitching eyes.

"Cut this," he said and shoved a pile of snakeskin at me. I picked up the knife and started to work. I spent the rest of the lesson cutting things up, and trying to save what I could of the stuff Sirius hacked up.

At the end of the lesson, our potion was looking not too bad compared to most of the others (obviously it looked like a mess compared to Lily's, but wasn't that true of a lot of thing?)

Me and Sirius took our bags at the same time and walked to the door chatting together, once there I remembered something I'd meant to ask him before. "Oh yeah," I said, "I was wondering, what did you mean before when you said to James that there were two sides to your plan?" Sirius looked uncomfortable, as if he had been caught cheating on a test, "you don't have to tell me," I said, quickly turning away to hide my embarrassment. Why did I have to be so nosey?

Sirius grabbed my arm to pull me back closer to him, "Well, with that plan, James got to sit with Lily and," here he paused as though to brace himself for jumping of a cliff, "and I got to sit with you." With that he let go of my arm and hurried away.

"Oh," I said, as a little tingle of excitement started in my arm, and then spread it's way all around my body.

**************


	15. Love Struck Git

The next morning when I woke up there was a obvious feeling of panic in the girls dormitory, Lily was going through he bag looking for clothes to wear, Alice was running round trying to find her hairbrush and Molly was applying make-up in the toilet. Emmeline was sitting on her bed staring down at her open bag, in a sort of trance and Marlene (already fully dressed and done up) was sitting watching the chaotic scene with a smug smirk on her face.

When she saw me getting up it quickly disappeared from her face and she stalked out the room.

The door shutting loudly behind her caused Lily to look up from her position on the floor, she spotted me standing up immediately. I must have been looking at bit hurt by Marlene's actions because Lily said, "don't worry about her, she'll get over it in a bit and then she'll be fine with you."

"Yeah," a voice called from the toilet, "she never sticks on one boy for long, she was out with some guy from Hufflepuff last night. I'm surprised she's not bored of Sirius yet; she's been out with him before. Maybe it's 'cause he's rejecting- " Molly's words were cut of by a high pitched squeak.

"You ok?" called Lily.

"Fine," Molly called back, "poked myself in the eye with mascara is all."

I walked over to Emmeline, "You ok?" I asked quietly.

She simply shook her head forlornly, "what should I wear?" she asked me.

"Umm," I said, also stumped, as I wasn't one to spend ages deciding on outfits (which was probably why all my outfits looked so bad). "I always think simple is best, so jeans and a t-shirt maybe?" I said unsurely.

Alice popped out from under Emmeline's bed holding her hairbrush, "I'll help you Em," she said having obviously overheard our conversation. She shot me a disapproving look, "Simple is best? What are you talking about? Jeans and a t?"

"It works fine for me," I said defensively.

"Anything works when you're wearing it Tina," said Alice simply, before turning to fuss over Emmeline.

I walked over to my bag and pulled out my favourite pair of skinny jeans, a light blue, low necked vest top and a long, loose purple cardigan. I put then on as quickly as possible thinking that I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. I brushed my teeth, ran my fingers through my hair and went over to the door.

"I'll come with you," said Molly, as I was about to escape.

"Ok," I said and we walked out of the dormitory.

When we walked into the great hall my eyes immediately scanned the Gryffindor table, and they soon found who they were looking for: Sirius. He was sitting down the far end of the table. My feet started to go over to him instinctively and Molly followed suite, it wasn't till we got closer that I saw who was sat beside him: Marlene.

She had draped herself all over him and was laughing in an immensely seductive way, as I walked over I couldn't help thinking that such obvious and blatant flirting was against the law. I mean, she was twiddling her hair and giggling girlishly at every word he said.

Marlene spotted me first as Sirius was turned away from us, her laugh stopped when she saw me. Sirius noticed that her concentration was elsewhere and looked behind him, she saw me and waved at me to come over. I saw Marlene's mouth moving so she must have been saying something but he didn't pay any attention to her, she got up and walked away.

When we drew level with him he patted the seat beside him for me to sit down on, and Molly sat next to me opposite James, Remus and Peter.

We all greeted each other cordially.

"So," said Molly, "how are all you boys?"

"We're good," said James.

"We still helping you do the decorations for this party?" she asked.

"Yeah, but only if you want to." James replied.

Just then a voice from further down the table called Molly's name, recognising the voice of her long-term boyfriend Arthur Weasley, she stood up. "Sorry, looks like I might be a bit busy today," she said as she walked away, "you'll still have the others to help you though."

We all sat in silence; Sirius seemed to be thinking about something else. For some reason the idea that Marlene could be the object of his imagination annoyed me intensely. "So," I said awkwardly, "I saw Marlene sitting here before." Sirius sorted grunted but didn't make any other sign that he had heard what I'd said. "Are you two like, an item?" I asked, trying to sound unbothered and disinterested.

The reaction my question got from the four boys was almost laughable. James was staring at me as though I was mentally deranged and Sirius' jaw had practically hit the tabletop. Peter, who had been eating his breakfast, had stopped mid chew; frozen like a statue. Remus was still spreading butter on his toast, however he didn't appear to realise that there was no more toast in front of him and that his plate was getting a nice covering of bright yellow butter.

None of them spoke, "Umm, what?" I asked, looking round at them, "why are you staring at me like that."

"Like what?" asked James slowly.

"Like I'm mad or dumb or something," I said, blushing.

"Because you obviously are," muttered Peter under his breath. James hit him.

"Tina!" someone called from the main doors. I turned around to see who it was but it was pointless really, as soon as I saw James reaction to the voice I knew it was Lily.

Lily walked over followed by Emmeline and Alice. They sat down at the table and as they did so Sirius got up and walked away without even looking back.

"Um, was that our fault?" asked Lily uncertainly; I saw her glance at me out of the corner of her eyes.

"No, of course not," said James, his eyes were moving frantically from Lily's face to Sirius retreating back. "Peter, go after him," James said.

Peter scurried of after Sirius, he must have caught up with him just outside the entrance hall because all we heard was a faint screech as Sirius punched Peter in the face.

Remus and James flinched at the sound, obviously they had both experienced the Sirius strength at one point or another in their friendship with him.

Remus stood up to leave, but James stayed sitting. Remus looked at him and said quietly, "I can't deal with him on my own you know." James glanced at Lily, looking torn. "He'll listen to you," said Remus pleadingly.

James stood up, looking thoroughly displeased.

"When shall we meet you?" Lily asked him when she saw he was going to leave her.

"12, in the room where the party normally is, the party starts at 8 by the way." James practically sprinted out of the room after the others.

"We'll be there," said Lily reassuringly.

As soon as James was gone Lily swivelled round to face me, "what was that about?"

I stared down at my plate, "what was what about?" I asked in a pointless attempt to make out I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Sirius, walking away in a huff as soon as we sat down" Lily said, obviously she wasn't going to be put of by a half-arsed impression of incomprehension on my part.

"I'm not sure." I replied vaguely.

"What were you all talking about?" asked Lily.

"Well, when I came in Marlene was sitting next to him, batting her eyelids, drooling, that kind of thing." They all nodded, this was typical Marlene behaviour. "So, when I sat down, and she had run off, I asked if they were an item."

"You did what?" Lily screeched.

"I… umm… well," I stuttered, surprised by her over the top reaction.

"I think it was a rhetorical question," Alice whispered across the table. She giggled; I however was in too much shock to laugh.

3rd Person

Around the corner from the great hall Sirius sat, fuming, Peter was crouched on the floor a few minutes away holding his nose, which was spouting blood, and groaning.

Remus practically sprinted round the corner, looked at the two, decided which he thought needed the most immediate attention, and went over to Sirius.

"Uh, Sirius?" he asked unsurely.

Sirius put his head in his hands and groaned. "Does she actually think that?" he asked his friend. "Is she really that dumb?"

"Umm, well," said Remus.

"How is it that every girl in the school imagines I fancy them apart from the one I do actually like?" Sirius asked again.

"Well…" Remus said. Someone else came around the corner, he looked round, relieved; it was James.

Remus moved away and went over to help Peter, he waved his wand and muttered a incantation. Peter seemed to improve but his face was still covered in blood so they went off to the boy's toilets to wash his face of.

"You need to stop punching Peter when you get angry, looks like you broke his nose," said James.

"It's you or him, you're chose," said Sirius, "and Remus'll fix it up easy anyway."

James sat down on the floor beside Sirius, "girls are weird mate. They say weird stuff they don't mean and they don't say the stuff they do mean but expect you to have read it from their minds anyway."

"Girls are weird," repeated Sirius.

"Are you going to help us set up for the party?" asked James.

"Yeah," said Sirius, "why wouldn't I? I'm not going to let her asking that faze me."

James inwardly thought that Sirius was acting pretty fazed, but he didn't say anything; he liked his nose just the way it was. "Shall we get going then?" he asked.

"No," said Sirius, not moving.

_Okay_, thought James, he shuffled around awkwardly. He'd never known Sirius to get so stressed over a girl. This was probably due to the fact that they had always just come to him, in swarms, literally. "Now you know how I feel every time Lily rejects me," James told him, slightly inconsiderately.

Sirius looked over at his friends with a new admiration in his eyes, "how do you do it?" he asked James, "How do you just carry on every time she pushes you away?"

James shrugged, "I know sometime she'll say yes." He answered simply.

"What if she never does though?" Sirius asked his friend.

"She will," James said, but Sirius wasn't sure whether he was talking about Lily or Tina. "Anyway," said James, hoping to get the conversation away from his and Lily's failing romance, "how come you're suddenly so upset? You've never been at all bothered about what girls thought of you before."

"Yes, but before 'girls' weren't Tina," said Sirius, "there's something about her James, something I want to see more of, something I can't get enough of."

"You know who you sound like don't you?" asked James, grinning.

"Who?" asked Sirius uninterestedly?

"Me, when I talk about Lily," James told him.

"Oh god no," said Sirius comically, "I'm a love struck git."

"Yes you are," said James. "Hey, I'm not a git!" he exclaimed when he realised what Sirius had said.

"Yes, you are," said Sirius laughing.

"I'm not," said James, standing up.

"You so are," said Sirius.

"Oh, shut up," said James, he held out his hand to Sirius. Sirius took it and James pulled him up. They walked away together.

"I'm not a git am I?" James asked.

"I'm not love struck am I?" Sirius asked him.

"You are," they both said together, they both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Tina's P.O.V.

After breakfast we all had a walk around the ground, it was cold and we held our clothes tight around ourselves. Emmeline looked up at the grey sky at one point and told us she thought it was going to snow soon. Lily said she hoped it didn't because she didn't like snow, or to be more exact, snow fights.

"You're dead good at them though," said Alice, "do you remember that one time you got really mad and through a snow ball right at some 1st years head because he had been throwing them at you for ages."

"Oh yeah," squealed Emmeline, "you knocked him right of his broom, it was so funny; he was so surprised."

"He didn't think I had it in me, the little twerp," muttered Lily. "That's not the point though, he could have been badly hurt, snow ball fights can cause serious casualties you know. In my opinion-"

"There should be a law against snow ball fights?" I asked her. Alice and Emmeline laughed.

"That wasn't what I was going to say," said Lily indignantly.

"Oh, just laugh Lily. Come on, you don't always have to be so rulebook do you?" said Alice.

"I just don't see how throwing snow at each other is fun," said Lily.

"It's just messing around Lily," said Alice.

"Shall we start heading up to the 3rd floor now?" asked Emmeline, seeing an argument looming.

"Why are we standing outside staring at the door?" asked Alice, as we all stood facing the door to the room that only I knew was the room of requirement.

"I dunno," said Emmeline quietly.

"Maybe we should come back in a bit, we're half an hour early, we could go to the library for a bit and then come back

"Honestly," said Alice as she pushed the door open and stepped inside. Emmeline followed her, the Lily went in, and finally I was staring at the door. For a second I wondered if they would notice if I just didn't go in. That was a stupid thought though; I wasn't invisible anymore.

Being known had it ups, and it's downs.


	16. Relax

We'd been working on the decorations for quite a while and to be honest it was pretty awkward. Lily was running round the place telling everyone what to do, taking any chance possible to insult the way we were hanging ribbons or the colours we had put near each other, but apart from that it was silent.

Sirius seemed to be doing anything he could to get away from me and eventually he just sat down on the sofa and glared at everyone. After a while James went over to him and whispered something in Sirius's ear, Sirius didn't reply.

Suddenly there was a load crash, the lights that James had been attaching to the ceiling had fallen down.

"JAMES!" screeched Lily, James winced. "What just happened?" she asked, coming closer to him.

"Uh, the lights just fell down," he said.

"Yeah, they did" she said slowly, "and remind me James, who was meant to be putting the lights up?" Lily's eyes were wide and she was talking very slowly, pronouncing every word perfectly; as if she were talking to a very small child.

James looked terrified, his eyes were also wide and he seemed to have shrunk back into himself, he looked insanely helpless and young, "I was." He said quietly.

"What? I didn't hear that" said Lily.

"Me" answered James, his voice high and whining.

"Yes, You! So, whose fault is that they fell down?" When James didn't answer, Lily screamed, "Yours! So why aren't you doing it?"

"I don't know," spluttered James, completely taken aback by Lily's intensity.

"Why are you sitting there then? Put them back up you lazy, dumb, idiot!" screamed Lily, before turning away.

"Are you OK Lily?" asked Emmeline quietly as Lily walked away.

Lily nodded quickly, her eyes still scarily wide, "I'm fine."

"You sure Lil?" I asked.

"Yes!" she screamed, "I'm great, with a capital fucking G, ok? Now shut up."

I backed away from her, shocked and surprised. I heard a quiet chuckle from the end of the hall: I spun round to see Sirius, still on the couch laughing to himself.

"What's so funny Sirius?" Lily had turned too; she spat the question at him.

"You," said Sirius, his eyes daring her to react.

"And what exactly, may I ask, is it about me that you find soo humorous?" asked Lily, the strain of not shouting showed in her voice and she looked furious.

"It's just that, well, you're so cute looking" said Sirius, "but you're actually a crazy bitch."

Lily looked stumped for a second, it was obvious that Sirius was trying to pick a fight with her and that she was unsure whether or not she about to bite of more then she could chew.

Sirius laughed at her, "so, I take it you've finished mouthing of at everyone for no reason?"

"I wasn't doing that at all" Lily said, I slight pout starting to appear on her lips.

Sirius just raised his eyebrows at her, "well then, are you done with your little breakdown?"

"It wasn't-" Lily started, but he cut her off.

"It's just that I thought I might go get some food for us all and order some more for the party," he said.

"That sounds like a good idea," said Lily, slightly grudgingly. He stood up but stayed still, laughter playing at his lips, which I realised with acute embarrassment; I was staring at. I turned away from watching their semi-argument or whatever it was that was going on.

"Go on then," I heard Lily say, "off you trot."

"I might need a bit of help," Sirius said to the room at large.

"Well, I'm not going," said Lily and walked over to examine James work with the lights.

"Tina," said Sirius, from the centre of the large room, "you wanna come along and help me?"

James turned to look over at me, but Lily snapped something at him and he quickly turned away.

"I don't think I'd be very good at helping carry stuff, take James," I said, then thinking better of that I added, "or Remus."

Remus was standing by Emmeline helping her with putting out the table's for the food. "He's busy," said Sirius simply.

"I'm really weak, I'll drop all the food," I said desperately, not wanting to be alone with him when he was in such a weird mood.

Sirius chuckled at me, "use your wand."

"Oh," I said, I'd run out of excuses now.

"Besides," he said, picking something up from the couch, "you'll be able to fit under this."

"What is it?" I asked, intrigued by the shimmery material in his hand. He put his finger to his lips and beckoned me over to see. I stepped closer to him warily, he grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door, despite my weak protests.

"This," he said proudly, pulling what I now realised was a kind of cloak of the two of us, "is an invisibility cloak."

I lifted up my hand under the cloak so it was in front of my face, I couldn't see a thing; "wow" I said. I mean I'd heard of them, but none were ever of a very good standard from what I'd heard; you could usually see a faint shimmering outline or something. I looked over at Sirius and he grinned at me (I could see him because we were both under the cloak, but to anyone else there would be nothing right were the two of us were standing.)

It made everything seem more personal; anything we did only the other could see it and, I realised with a blush, we had to stand quite close together to ensure that the cloak covered both of us completely.

"So, how do we get to the kitchens?" I asked him, feeling heat rising in my cheeks.

"This way," he said, starting to walk towards the stairs. I followed him down the stairs to the basement. As we were about to enter a smallish corridor of to the left, we heard footsteps coming.

Sirius quickly pushed me into a little alcove behind an elaborate painting of some finely dressed ladies enjoying biscuits and tea. We stood there silently for a minute or two, waiting for the footsteps to pass us.

"What was the point of that?" I whispered, once the close was clear.

Sirius raised his eyebrows questioningly at me, "do you really think that would have stopped a Slytherin dreaming something up to get us in trouble?"

"They couldn't see us anyway," I said, feeling stupid for some reason, even though this was a perfectly reasonable thing to say.

"It's a small corridor, they would have walked into us," he said.

"Well, they're gone now, so shall we make a move?" I asked, trying to make my voice seem relaxed, but I was pretty sure it was shaking.

"Hmm," he said, as though he was thinking very deeply about what I had said, "I'm not sure, think I kind of like it." He said, a cheeky light starting to burn in his eyes, "it's kinda…" he looked me up and down, "cosy, don't you think?" I became insanely aware of how tight our bodies were packed, the cold wall pressing into my back and his warmth radiating through my body.

I had to concentrate hard to keep my breathing even, "bit cramped," I managed to say, staring at his chest rather then up into his bewitching eyes.

He put his head on one side, "hmm," he said again. I carried on staring at his chest, my hands clenching and unclenching at my sides. I felt another pair of larger, warmer hands close around them, stopping the movement. "You're so tense," he said, placing his hands on my shoulders, massaging them slowly, I felt my muscles relax under his touch.

"Well, I am pressed against a cold, hard, stone wall, it is kind of hard to relax completely, you know? It's not very comfortable, you see?" I was babbling now, which I tend to do when I'm nervous, and all of my sentences seemed to end with a question, a trait that had started to show itself more and more recently. "I think we need to get going, really, if we want to get this food up to everyone. Lily gets a bit cranky when she's hungry, maybe you noticed before?"

He chuckled, "I noticed," he said quietly, lifting his hand up to my chin and pushing it up softly, so I was looking directly into his eyes.

"Yeah, well, she might get worse if we don't hurry up-"

All of what I was going to say was forgotten when she shushed me quietly, she started to run his fingers around my lips. I made an unintelligible high-pitched sort of oh-ing sound.

He smiled as he leaned down, keeping his eyes locked on mine as I stared into them, grey, flecked with colour, gorgeous. He closed his eyes and I watched his mouth come closer for a second, until it came into contact with mine and I too closed my eyes.


	17. The White Blanket

"Food has arrived," called Sirius as me and him walked back into the room of requirement, laden with boxes of delicious looking munchies.

"At last!" cried a voice from the other end of the room. Marlene stood up from her place on the couch and sauntered over to check out the contents of out boxes.

I felt Sirius stiffen beside me and I was pretty sure he could have said the same as me. We both stood there, still as statues, as Marlene dipped her hand in and pulled out a sandwich.

"Yummy," she said after taking a bite, her cold eyes were boring into me.

"When did you arrive?" asked Sirius, not sounding very pleased by the fact that she had.

"Just after you guys left apparently," she said, "I got bored so I thought I'd come help you lot with all the preparations, seems like you're pretty much finished though, so there's not much for me to do. I was going to come find you two to help you with this lot but James told me not to."

"We managed fine on our own," said Sirius.

"I can see that," said Marlene, flashing me the fakest smile I have ever seen in my life.

Lily walked over to our little gathering and also dipped her hand into the box, "I've never been to the kitchens," she said nonchalantly, "Where is it? You two seemed to take a while getting there and back."

"It's down in the basements," I said, "we had to go slowly on the way back, in case anyone spotted us with the food."

Lily nodded, her mouth full of sandwich.

James, Peter, Alice, Remus and Emmeline also came over now and helped themselves to some food. "I'm starving," said James.

"You always are," said Sirius, laughing as his friend wolfed down his food.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Remus looking at his watch, "we've got hours till the party starts and we're all set up already."

"We could go outside for a bit," said Alice.

"It's freezing out there," said Marlene.

"We could go to the Common Room," said Emmeline.

"It's boring in there," said Marlene.

"Were do you want to go then?" asked Sirius.

Marlene shrugged and looked around in a bored way. She pouted and started playing with her hair.

It was obvious we weren't going to be getting to a agreement anytime soon so I stepped away from the group and went over to the window. I didn't see the green grass and dark forest as I had expected; all I saw was a blanket of white snow, coating everything, and more falling from the sky.

"It's snowing!" I called to everyone.

They all ran over to the window and stared out, all of us amazed by the enchanting view.

"I'm going to get my coat and gloves," said Alice, running over to the door, "you girls coming?"

"Yeah," said Lily as she went over to join Alice. Me, Emmeline and Marlene followed her lead. "We'll meet you guys outside," said Lily as we left.

"Ok, see you!" James called after us.

We ran upstairs into the common room, which had emptied due to the snow, and then up to our dorm. We grabbed coats, scarves and gloves as quickly as we could and went out. We pulled on our extra layers as we walked through the school down to the entrance hall.

As we stepped out we were hit by a frosty wind, causing us to pull our coats tighter around ourselves.

"I told you it was freezing out here," complained Marlene.

"So what? It's snow!" replied Alice happily.

"I'm probably gonna catch pneumonia or something," said Marlene.

"Then go back inside if you're so bothered," snapped Lily.

Marlene opened her mouth to say something but before she could speak was hit in the side of the head with a large snowball. We all looked over curiously to see four boys standing not far off and laughing at us all huddled by the doors.

"Come on!" yelled Sirius, another snowball already formed in his hand.

"Oh no," breathed Lily. We all ducked as another snowball went rocketing by us.

"Come on girls, lets show them what we've got," said Alice, leaning down to pick up some snow.

"No, no, I don't think we should," said Lily. Another snowball came flying in our direction, this one hitting Lily squarely in the face. A bit off James was standing, hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky. "I am going to get him for that," whispered Lily under her breath. She put her hand out for the snowball Alice had just finished making and chucked it hard at James. It hit him right in the side of the head and he stumbled over and nearly fell over from the shock.

We all cheered and high fived Lily as he stabled himself, then we screamed as a cascade of snowballs fell on us. I ducked but was hit on the back.

We all stared shuffling round in the snow screaming and trying to make out shapes in the whirling snow all around us. I like to think I hit a fair few people, though I wouldn't bet on it really as I have pretty bad aim even when I can see clearly.

Soon we were all running round madly, screaming and laughing and chucking snowballs at anything that moved. I became accustomed to the snow and could soon see quite well, so when Sirius threw a particularly large snowball at me I was able to dodge easily.

I could see him bending down to make a new one so I ran off. I soon noticed a snowball whooshing past my left ear and I spun round to see him chasing me. I leaned down and grabbed a handful of snow, which I patted into a hard ball as I ran. I turned and continued running backwards as I took aim and fired the snowball at his head. I saw it hit its target and raised my hands above my head and whooped with pride.

As I did so I lost my balance and tumbled backwards into the snow. I lay there for a second looking up and watching the snow fall from the sky. Then I got an idea and started to move my arms and legs around to make shapes in the snow.

Suddenly someone tripped over my legs and toppled on top of me. "Ow," I said.

"Ooops, sorry," mumbled Sirius from above me.

Even through all my layers I could feel the heat from his body radiating through my body. "You ruined my snow angle," I said, trying to wriggle out from under him.

"You can make a new one," he said, grinning down at me.

"Get off me," I said, trying to push up against his weight.

His eyes twinkled cheekily and he leaned down and whispered in my ear so I could feel his breath on my neck, "make me."

_Fine_, I thought to myself, _I will_. I reached over to the side and grabbed a handful of snow. I brought it up and stuffed it in his face, he spluttered and rolled over to the side, wiping his face. I laughed and pushed myself up. I ran off again but he grabbed my leg so I stumbled back down. I kicked him off and pelted off towards the cover of the forest.

I soon reached the tightly packed tree trunks, the ground here wasn't as deeply covered as outside because of the trees but there was still a thin pattering of white over the grass. I walked past a few trees, away from the wall of whiteness outside.

I leaned with my back against a tree, still panting from running through the snow with all my heavy clothing on. Before my breathing had had time to slow I saw a figure coming through the trees, I stepped forward, grinning, thinking it was Sirius.

Before I had a chance to properly make out the figure, they muttered a spell that sent me shooting backwards against the tree. My back pressed hard into the trunk and my feet were hanging a few feet from the ground.

She stepped forwards and leaned in towards me, "I could kill you now," she said quietly, her voice low and menacing, her wand pressed against my neck. "You remember that, I could kill you anytime I wanted."

I spluttered, with no idea what to say to Bella, I never did. She was impossible to talk to, unlike her cousin.

"Anytime I like," she said, twiddling her wand between her fingers, looking down at it. "Do not forget that Teen," she said, now staring into my face, as I tried to look anywhere but into those eyes, "do not forget." She repeated, placing her fingers around my neck, tensing and un-tensing them so that for short periods of time the breath caught in my throat and I couldn't breathe.

I heard shuffling in the trees not far off and I fell to the ground, when I looked round Bella was gone and a completely different pair of eyes were staring down at me. "You ok?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah I'm fine," I muttered, "just a bit worn out from running."

"You looked like you had passed out for a minute there," he said, staring down at me, his beautiful eyes filled with concern for me.

"I might have knocked my head on a tree or something," I muttered, lifting my hand to feel my head. When I brought it down again there was a spot of blood on it, "shit," I said.

"What?" he asked, looking down at my hand. "Shit," he said, "let me see that."

"It's nothing," I said, hiding my hand behind my back.

He took it and looked at it, "is that blood?" he asked.

"Umm, well," I said slowly.

He pulled of my hat and looked at my head, "you must have whacked your head pretty hard," he said to me, "did you run into a tree?"

"Yes, I must have," I said, laughing at myself.

"Hmm," he said, his hand still on my head, stroking my hair. He brought his hand down and I saw that it was flecked with blood.

"You've got blood on you," I said, worried about him.

"It's yours silly," he said, chuckling lightly at me.

"Oh."

"We should probably get you to the hospital wing," said Sirius.

"No, no, I'm fine," I protested.

"You're bleeding, you're heads bleeding," he said slowly.

"I know, but I'm fine," I said, "I'll go and have a lie down before the party, clean my head up and stuff and then I'll be fine."

"You said you're fine now."

"I am, but I'll be even finer," I said, pushing myself up.

"Ok, then," he said, chuckling at me. "Let me help you up then."

"I'm good," I said, staggering a little as the blood rushed into my head.

He caught me, "you sure about that?"

"Yes," I said pleadingly.

"Why won't you go to see Madam Pomfrey?" he asked.

"I dunno," I said, "I hate hospitals."

"It's not a hospital."

"Yes but it's a hospital wing, which is just as bad." He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly. "It's like a mini hospital."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "fine then, but don't say I didn't warn you if you pass out halfway through the party."

"If I do, it won't be because of this little bump," I tapped my head. "When are you getting the alcohol actually?" I said, changing the subject.

"Me and James will get it later," he said.

"Where do you get it?" I asked.

He laughed at me, "wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, that's why I asked." He rolled his eyes at me again and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"We can't go telling our secrets to everyone," said Sirius secretively, "the only reason people come to our parties is cause we always get booze in."

"No, you're parties are always funner," I told him.

"'Cause everyone's drunk," he said, "anyway, how would you know, have you even ever been to one of our parties?"

"No," I said, "but everyone talks about them anyway."

He looked at me for a second, "why haven't you come before?"

"Didn't see the point," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

We were walking through the snow filled grounds now and I could hear people shouting and laughing far away; obviously the game was still going. We walked to the doors without saying anything else to each other, it wasn't awkward though, it was nice- relaxed. Neither of us felt obliged to start some pointless banter; we were comfortable, walking in silence, beside each other.


	18. Countdown

I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling, my head was starting to hurt and I had no idea what to wear to the party. I could feel bruises coming up on my back already so nothing backless or strapless.

Sirius had walked me all the way up to the stairs, all the way fusing over me and trying to convince me to go to Madam Pomfrey. I really didn't want to go to her as this would be the second time this week and she might start wondering where I was getting all these injuries from, especially if she noticed any of the bruises.

I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom; I looked at myself in the mirror. The blood was starting to dry on my head, congealing in my hair, plastering it to my head. I had already healed the cut so I decided to have a shower to wash of the blood.

The water in the shower was warm, it an over my skin, caressing it, warming it, soothing it. I looked over my body as I stood there; it was covered in purple and blue bruises. My back was now covered in the things, like a patchwork of blue and purple occasionally dotted with white skin.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a fluffy white towel. I wiped myself dry and went back into the dorm, still wrapped in the towel. I quickly pulled on the first clothes I could find and snuggled into my bed under my quilt.

I lay there in peace for a minute and then Lily, Emmeline, Alice and Marlene came into the dorm, laughing and chatting and wiping the left over snow of their clothes.

Lily spotted me lying in bed, "Are you ok?" she asked, rushing over to me, "Sirius said something happened to you, you walked into a tree or something." Across the room Marlene snorted.

"I'm ok," I said, "just wanted to have a little lie-down before the party."

"Well, we're starting to get ready so are you going to get up?" asked Lily.

"Yeah," I said, starting to pull myself up from the bed. I swung my legs over the side and went over to my bag. I started searching round for something to wear.

I put on some nice jeans that I had got over the summer holidays but not a chance to wear yet. Then I got out a bright red satin top with long flowing sleeves and a cross over neckline. I pulled them on quickly and got back on the bed.

"You look nice," said Lily, smiling.

"Thanks," I said, looking up at her. She looked stunning, she was wearing a short (yet not too short) skirt and green top that hung of her shoulders and matched her eyes. "You look great."

"Trying to impress someone Lily?" asked Marlene from across the room. Her skirt was defiantly too short, it was black and tight and she was wearing a dark blue top that showed of her breasts, as in they were practically popping out of her top.

"No," said Lily, blushing.

Just then Molly rushed into the dorm, "Oh, you're still here, good," she said, "I thought you might of gone already."

She quickly started going through her bag looking for clothes to wear, she pulled out a denim skirt and light blue strapless top.

I glanced around, Emmeline and Alice was wearing jeans like me and Emmeline had on a purple vest top with a grey cardigan. Alice had on a halter neck pink top.

"Tina," said Lily, looking at me, "you know your hairs wet right?"

"Oh shit," I said and jumped out of bed. I grabbed my wand from the bedside table and muttered the drying spell. My hair fell down past my shoulders, it was slightly wavy but I couldn't be bothered straightening it so I let it stay that way as we all went out of the girl's dorm.

The party hadn't been very eventful so far and I was sat on the couch drinking some fire whiskey. Music was playing loudly and some people were dancing, I noticed Marlene flailing around on the dance floor with a Ravenclaw guy from the year above us.

Molly had disappeared quite a while ago with Arthur Weasley and I saw Alice following her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, out of the door. Emmeline was standing by the dance floor talking to Remus, neither of them looked like they wanted to dance but they did look like they were having a nice chat.

"Do you think he likes her?" Lily said form her place beside me on the sofa.

"What?" I asked, distracted.

"Remus and Emmeline," said Lily.

"I don't know," I said, looking back at them. I hadn't really thought about it before but now I thought of it I did remember Emmeline looking at Remus in a slightly dreamy way, and mentioning him a lot.

"They make a cute couple," said Lily.

"Yeah," I said, "maybe we should get them to kiss at the end of the new year countdown."

"Yes," said Lily, grinning evilly.

"I was joking," I said unsurely.

"Well, I wasn't," said Lily, getting up from the sofa.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

Lily tapped her nose knowingly at me, "you'll have to wait and see," she said, "I've had a very good idea now." She skipped away, leaving me sitting alone with a feeling that I had just started something that would end quite badly for quite a few people.

3rd Person

"Hello," said a voice behind James shoulder, he spun round to see Lily standing there, grinning at him cheekily. She looked gorgeous.

"Hi," he said, "you look great."

"Thanks," she said, smiling coyly at him now, "you look pretty good yourself."

"Thanks," he said, "so to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked.

Lily bit her lip in a way that told him she was very excited about what she was about to say, "you're going to help me set people up," she said, "for the new year kiss."

"Right," he said slowly, "who?"

"Remus and Emmeline," said Lily, "and… Sirius and Tina." She squealed excitedly.

"Are you sure that Remus and Emmeline like each other?"

"Yes," she said, looking at him and laughing, "look at them."

James looked over at Emmeline and Remus, they were chatting happily. "Well, I don't know, they're just talking."

"Boys," said Lily, "it's obvious, trust me."

"Ok," he said, "I'll help you," he said slowly, "if…" he trailed of.

"If what?" asked Lily curiously.

"If I get a kiss at new year too," said James, looking at his shoes.

Lily giggled, "ok," she said.

James looked up, amazed, "Seriously? You're not going to slap me?"

"Would you prefer that?" asked Lily.

"No, no, of course not," said James quickly.

Lily laughed, "I was joking."

"Oh," said James, turning red.

"Anyway," said Lily, "when the count down starts, we have to get them near each other, so they'll have to kiss. You get Sirius to the middle of the floor and I'll get Tina."

"Umm, ok," said James, "what about Remus and Emmeline?"

"Oh, I don't think they'll move away from each other," said Lily, "but if you do see them drifting apart get them back next to each other."

"Umm, ok," said James, "what about us?"

"You don't need to think about that," said Lily, turning away from him, "you just keep up your side of the bargain and I'll do mine." And with that, she was gone into the crowd of people on the dance floor.

Tina's P.O.V.

I was sitting on the sofa still, looking around, bored, when Sirius came over.

"Hey," he said, handing me a new drink.

"Hi, " I said, taking the drink, "thanks."

He sat down next to me on the sofa, "how's your head?" he asked.

"Oh, it's fine," I told him.

He lifted his hand and stroked it across my head, brushing my hair away form my scalp, "I can't see a scratch," he told me.

"I healed it," I said.

"You must be good at it," he told me, "it seemed like a pretty bad cut."

"It wasn't too bad," I said. I was actually very good at all healing charms and spells, from all the practice I had had over the years, I wasn't about to tell him that though. I lifted up my hand to brush through my ruffled hair and as I did so the loose sleeve of my shirt fell all the way down my arm. I saw his eyes widen as he spotted a strange purplish colour covering the skin on my upper arm. I dropped my arm back down to my side, pulling my sleeve over it.

"Hey," he said, "Can I see your arm?"

"Uh," I said, not moving. "I better be going actually, I need to find Lily." I stood up but he pulled me back down and grabbed my arm. He pulled my sleeve up to see the bruises covering it.

"Where are these from?" he asked.

"I've got to go, really," I said, trying to leave.

He stopped me, pulling the loose material aside, so he could see my shoulder, which was also covered in bruises, then he pulled it up my back. I heard an intake of breath when he saw all the bruises there, in different stages of severity, some blue or purple, some a horrible greeny-yellow colour and some just starting to fade away. "What the fuck?" I heard him ask himself.

"Please, get off me," I said to him, standing up and pulling my arms around myself. I turned to look at him, still sitting on the sofa, looking up at me with wide eyes.

"Where did you get all them?" he asked me.

"I just trip and fall and walk into stuff," I said, "I'm really clumsy and I bruise easily." He looked at me in a hurt way, pleading to me with his eyes, begging me to tell him the truth. "I'll see you later Sirius," I said, and pelted away from him.

I went to the window and stared out, it was still completely white outside and I could see footprints going round and round in the snow. There were somemen and igloos scattered around the grounds.

"Hey!" said someone from behind me.

I turned to see Emmeline smiling happily at me, "Hey Em," I said, "how are you?"

"I'm good," she said, "Remus is just getting me a drink," she gestured towards the drinks table were I could see Remus pouring a glass of butter bear for Emmeline.

"Oh," I said, "Emmeline?" I said tentatively.

"Yes?" she said, looking wary.

"Do you like Remus?" I asked.

"As in like like?" she replied, turning bright red. I nodded. "Um, well, I'm not sure yet really, I don't know, I think I might," she said, going even redder then before.

I grinned at her, "that's really nice, he's lovely, and I think he likes you back."

"Really?" she asked, looking giddy at the thought.

"Yeah," I said, "you should kiss him at new year."

"Umm, well I don't know about that," said Emmeline, fidgeting.

Remus sidled up to us, "I got you your drink," he said, passing it over to Emmeline.

"Thanks Remus," he said, taking the drink and beaming at him so hard I thought he face might split.

Remus stared at her for a moment, smiling back, with and incredibly dreamy look in his eyes, then he turned to me, "Sorry, I didn't get you a drink Tina, would you like one?"

"No thanks," I said, "I was just going to go out for a bit of fresh air actually."

As I started walking away from them Remus asked me if I was ok, I told him I was. "It's just, Sirius said you, uh, walked into a tree or something," he said, staring at the ground, obviously feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh, I did, but I'm fine now, it was nothing, really, I'm sure he was just blowing it our of proportion."

"He said your head was bleeding," said Remus, looking up at me.

"Really?" asked Emmeline, "why didn't you tell us, are you ok? I mean, I knew you'd hurt yourself but I didn't realise it was that bad."

"It wasn't that bad," I said, shooting what I hoped was a reassuring smile at them. "I'll be off now," I said, as I walked away.

Once I was in the corridor I went over to the window, it was larger then the one inside and I pushed the top of it open. I stood on the windowsill so I could breathe in the cold air. I sat down on the floor by the window; I closed my eyes and breathed slowly, trying to calm myself.

Sirius was definitely starting to think something was up, he had seen all the bruises, and he wasn't going to be my mumbled lies about walking into tables and chairs and tripping over. I couldn't think of anything more believable to tell him though, so that would have to do for the time being. I mean, they were actually from chairs and walls and tables and stuff, it was just that Bella was pushing me into all of them. So I wasn't really lying, was I? I was just sort of hiding some of the truth, wasn't I?

"Tina!" I heard someone squeal, it was Lily. "I've been looking all over for you! The countdown's about to start! Come on!" She grabbed me and started pulling me back towards the door to the room.

"I don't really mind, I'll just listen from out here," I said, trying to break her vice-like grip on my arm.

"No, no, no," she said as she pulled me back into the crowded room, "you are coming in here, I will not have you being anti-social and ruining my evening!"

"How is me sitting outside going to ruin _your_ evening?" I asked her.

"Because! Ok?"

"Ok, fine that," I said, giving up and letting her pull me into the centre of the room just as people started to count.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6…"

Lily let go of my arm causing me to trip and fall, a strong pair of arms caught me.

"5, 4…"

"Ooops, are you ok?" asked a voice above me.

"3, 2…"

I looked up to see Sirius looking down at me his eyes full of concern.

"1," he said as he leaned down a kissed me softly on the lips. "Happy new year," he said to me.

"Happy new year," I echoed.

3rd Person

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6…"

Lily pulled Tina through the crowd, searching for Sirius, when she saw him she let go of Tina and ran over to the boy standing behind him, with his back to her.

"5, 4…"

"Hey," she said, tapping him lightly on the back. He spun round and his troubled face light up when he saw her standing there, in front of him.

"3, 2…"

"I thought you weren't coming," he said, but she cut him of, placing her finger gently on his lips.

"Shhh," she whispered soothingly as she leaned up to kiss him.

"1" screamed everyone else, Lily drew away from James, his eyes were wide with joy and for once he was speechless.

"Happy new year," she said, grinning shyly at him, letting her hair fall across her face, hiding her flushed cheeks.

"Happy new year!" James screamed as he grabbed her and hugged her lifting her up into the air, whooping and cheering along with everyone else.

"James," she said, pulling at his hands around her waist, "put me down, you're embarrassing me."

"I don't care," he said laughing at her, he put her down though, "you're mine to embarrass," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her again.

3rd Person

Emmeline and Remus were still standing together by the window, away from everyone else, when the countdown started.

"10,9…"

"You know," said Emmeline, looking at her feet, " you're meant to kiss someone you love when they get to one."

"8, 7…"

Remus looked around, "hmm," he said, feigning confusion, "who should I kiss then?"

"6, 5…"

Emmeline went bright red and turned away, her eyes stinging with tears.

"4, 3…"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her around, "I was joking silly," he said, pulling her closer to him. "I know exactly who I want to kiss."

"2"

Emmeline looked up at him, he tear filled eyes shining with hope, "who?" she asked quietly.

"1"

"You," he said, leaning down and kissing her ever so lightly on the lips.

"Oh," she said.

"That's only if you want me to, I mean," said Remus, turning bright red.

"Of course I do," he said, looking incredulous.

His face split into a wide grin and he put his arms round her, just as the music started up again. And they stood there, circling slowly, their arms wrapped around each other, each one beaming happily at the other.

Sooo, what did you think of that? Lot's of new romances starting to bloom here,, did you expect Emmeline and Remus. Do you like them as a couple or am I trying to do too much?br /

Did you like the chapter? Was the party what you expected? I think it was a bit predictable... sorry... but I COULDN'T have them not kissing at new years!


	19. Dreamings

Lily

James kiss was amazing. 10/10. I never knew a kiss could be that good. You probably expect me to say that I wish I hadn't delayed it for so long and had just gone out with him at the beginning. I don't though, really I don't. It wouldn't have been as good. We've both been waiting so long for this, well he has anyway and I think I always knew somewhere deep down that one day this would happen. Though I'd never realized how happy it would make me. And anyway, I know now I have all the time in the world to kiss him whenever I want, so I don't mind that it took so long to start because now its going to take even longer to end. We're going to be together forever. I know it.

After the countdown kiss we went outside together, we talked and he seemed unsure if himself- venerable. I can't believe I just used the word vulnerable to describe self-assured, self-centered, self-righteous James Potter. But that's what he was, he seemed shy, which was really weird. I would have thought he'd want to start showing of and saying I-told-you-so but he didn't. He just stared at his feet and smiled at me occasionally through his lashes. I've never been able to deny he is very attractive, but I'd never thought he was cute before.

I'm sure he'll be back to his old self soon enough.

Anyway, we talked and talked about not much of anything really and it was great and I came back into the dorm all in a daze. I don't even remember changing into my night-dress but I must have because when I woke up I was wearing it. It took me a while longer then normal to fall asleep, mainly as I couldn't get that image of James grinning self-consciously at me.

When I did get to sleep I had one of most usual dreams- I walked into an exam and realized I wasn't wearing any clothes. Everyone was laughing but then I realized I'd forgotten to revise and I didn't even know what the exam was on. This is normally when I start crying and run into the toilet to find that there are no cubicles and all the toilets are fun of huge revision guides. I pick them out and try to read them but all the ink has ran on all of them and I can't read a thing.

But that didn't happen, instead James came in holding my clothes. He was like my wizard in shining robes and with a sparkly hat with tinsel on the top. He sat down next to me and he showed me his answers so I could copy them. Obviously I slapped him and told him where he could stick his answers- I'm still very much myself in dreams. And I, Lily Evans, do not cheat.

Sirius

After our kiss Tina ran away looking terrified and muttering gibberish. I don't normally have that effect on girls (making them scared, not depriving them of the talent to form real words) so I didn't know what to do. I just stood their looking like an idiot, in front of everyone. Just for a second though, I may have been surprised but I was still the host, I went around passing out extra drinks to everyone and sometimes also giving the occasional wink.

I wasn't flirting, I don't like those girls, it's just that I'm like air to them; they literally can't live without me. I know I sound bigheaded, but that's because when it comes to them- I am! How could any guy with a fan club of around 2 thirds of the school not be?

But once the party had died down I got think about Tina again, and her reaction. I don't know what's got into me, I don't usually moon over girls like this. She's just so different from all the rest, he makes me feel insecure and stupid and childish and clueless all at the same time. When I'm around her I find myself doubting what I say and what I do and what I think. I never do that; I always do what I want to do and don't care what people think of me. I never normally second-guess everything I say or do in my head before I've had time to do it. I don't wonder if I look ok or if my hair is too messy or too neat.

I do all these things and a lot more I can't be bothered listing when I'm around her. Normally if a girl runs away from me like that I'll just move on to another one, but all I could do for the rest of the party was sit on the couch drinking and listing all the possible motivations for her running away. I ran through the night again and again wondering where I went round. Had my kiss been bad? Surely not. Of course not. I hope not.

I fell asleep on the couch at about 5 o'clock when everyone had left and I woke up sweating after having a strange dream.

I had been kissing a girl and then I'd drawn away and my head had turned into a sort of donkey head with horns. The girl screamed and ran away and when I realized it was Tina I started trying to run after her. But then Tina tapped me on the shoulder asking why I'd kissed another girl and I turned to tell her I hadn't but she screamed when she saw my face and ran away.

Emmeline

Last night was amazing, I don't know how to describe it. Me and Remus talked and talked and talked and it was so much fun. Then, at the countdown he kissed me and I kissed him back and it was great. I wanted to sing. I've loved him for so long, you wouldn't believe. I'd never thought he'd notice me but then it turns out he has and I'm so happy.

Remus is the best guy I've ever met. He makes me smile whenever I see him.

I didn't used to be the type of girl to fantasize about guys, I've always been quite plain, so none of them paid any attention to me; so I decided not to waste my time dreaming about them. But then one Potions lesson got paired with Remus and he was so sweet and kind and helpful and I just knew then he was the kind of guy I wanted to be with. I could tell he'd never laugh at me if I did something wrong, he'd just talk me through it and then smile when I got it right. That smile that makes everything else fades away because it's just too bright that there isn't enough light left in the world for everything else.

I knew that I didn't have a chance with him, but I was happy just to bask in his glow. That's why I started hanging out with the marauders, so I could see his smile everyday and maybe some days even be the cause of it. Of course then I really started to like the others too, as friends. So then I carried on being friends with them because it was like a break from reality, from being boring old Emmeline, and I was transformed into super-cool spy 'Em the immaculate' as they nicknamed me in 2nd year (when they still though immaculate was spelt with 'em' before I told them otherwise.)

So tonight, when we kissed I was just so happy I couldn't speak for a minute. He thought I was upset but I soon set him straight on that too. I yawned and he insisted on walking me back to the bottom of the girl's stairs. He wouldn't come any further- he's such a gentleman.

I got changed and brushed my teeth and my hair and washed my face and then I got into bed and dreamed about being a super hero, flying through the sky.

Marlene 

The party last night was a real drag. I thought about going early but then I would have had to sit alone in the dorm on my own and that would have been terrible. Or even worse Tina could have been there, as she seems the type of boring person who would leave a party early, which would have been even worse.

I really don't see what Sirius sees in her. Actually that's not true, I do know why he's going for her; she's different, not his usual type. Every guy had a type and she's not his. Also, every guy, at least once in their life, has to make a try of it with a girl who's not their type. As a sort of experiment to see what it's like- these experiments never work out obviously. They can't last- they just don't match. He needs someone fast-paced and exciting, who can keep up with him. She needs someone slow and dull who will sit around holding her hand listening to all her non-existent problems. Siruis won't do that, when we went out I once mentioned how I was upset because Molly had borrowed my blusher without asking and had used loads up because she wanted to look like a pink-cheeked clown. He told me to shut up about it and throw the blushed away if it caused so many problems. See what I mean, he isn't the kind of guy you chat to; he's the kind of guy you make out with.

I saw her leave him after their kiss at New Year, what girl in their right mind walks away from Sirius Black? He looked real pathetic for the rest of the night, I considered going up to him and making it all better but instead opted to strut past him whenever I could- to remind him what he's missing. He's not stupid, he knows what type of girl he belongs with and everyone in the school knows it's not a girl like Tina Blanche. Tina Blank. Tina Plain.

Anyway, I don't want to go on about Sirius; I'm not bothered who he decides to waste his time on. I had a good old snog fest last night to get my spirits back up; they were a bit low for some reason. I didn't feel like doing anymore, so I went back to my dorm, followed by a lot of complaints from this red-haired guy I'd been kissing. He seemed to think I knew him.

I fell over multiple times on my way back up the stairs as I was more then just a bit tipsy and I'm pretty sure I got onto a few beds before I found mine, which resulted in annoyed groans from the Lily, Molly and Em. Once I'd got into my own bed I fell asleep straight away. I dreamt of me wedding to a fine young man in white. I don't think I've met him yet.

Remus 

I've wanted to kiss Em for so long but I've always been worried she'll get freaked out and won't talk to me, which would be terrible and is not even worth thinking about. She's so beautiful but she never seemed interested in boyfriends like the other girls did. She's never had a boyfriend before, I guess that's because she's always concentrating on her grades.

I've heard people call her plain, but I just don't get them. Everyday she's so exciting and funny, even though she doesn't see it. But then, I guess that's another reason I like her so much, she doesn't know how great she is. She doesn't moan either though, girls can tend to fall into those two categories: vain and moany. But Em isn't either, she doesn't think she's beautiful, which is crazy. But that doesn't hold her back, she doesn't complain about it, she doesn't moan. She accepts herself; and let me tell you, there are not many 16 year old girls who except themselves or their looks. She might be quiet and can seem a bit shy but she won't back down and she knows what she likes and doesn't agree with and she will say that.

I walked her back to the girl's dorms and all the while I was expecting her to ask, why I was following her round like a stalker. Or why I had been presumptuous enough to think she wanted me to kiss her when the clock struck 12. But she didn't, and I'm so thankful for that. I'm so thankful for her.

After dropping her off I went back to my dorm and lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling; it looked the same as it always did. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up but I don't remember what time and my dreams must have been of lying in bed and thinking about Emmeline because that's all I remember.

Peter 

The New Year party was fun. I had some fire-whisky and danced a bit. I left before the countdown because I like to be alone at New Year so I can properly concentrate on my wish. Also, Sirius and James didn't seem to want to talk to me. I tried to go chat with Remus and Emmeline but Lily stopped me and told me to stay away from the both of them because she 'could feel romance in the air'. I don't know what she's on about. I left after that because it seemed pointless to stay any longer when I had other stuff to do.

I read some schoolbooks, even though I didn't understand a word of it. Then I wriggled under Sirius's bed to get out his stash of magazines and I looked through them instead. When I heard someone coming up the stairs I hid them back where they belonged and climbed into bed. It was Remus, he thought I was asleep; I can be a good actor when I need to be.

Then of course I didn't want to move because it would have broken the charade so I decided I may as well just go to sleep.

In my dreams I was woken up by a huge party and everyone was there and they were all congratulating me on getting full marks on my exams. Then Marlene came in and kissed me! Sirius was really upset and I apologized to him afterward but he just smile and said 'I'm glad it's you whose got her mate, I know you'll treat her well.' It felt a bit like he was yoda passing on the force to me, a lowly luke skywalker; but I was sure that I could handle it and that I could go on to be a great hero and would save Laya. Then I remembered Laya was Luke's sister and decided that I'd send mum a letter telling her to stop making me watch these silly muggle films because they always have weird endings.

James 

Lily is by far the most amazing girl ever to have walked the earth. We've studied great witches in classes and none of them come close to Lily. They've all done cool magic and invented stuff but none of them have anything on her. Because she's got everything- brains, beauty, talent. She's funny and kind and absolutely perfect. One day I'm going to re-write the dictionary and under the word 'perfection' I'm going to put a picture of Lily.

Last night we kissed for the first time. Well the first proper time, all those times when I've just happened to catch her off guard don't count. They were nothing; this one was amazing. Plus I didn't get a slap right after it.

We went outside afterwards and I'm pretty sure I made a fool of myself because I'm just so intimidated by her. She's got it all and I don't have anything when I stand next to her, or that's what I'd thought. But then tonight she put her hand in mine and I realized that I do have something- I have her. I have everything.

I didn't dream, well not properly. I just relived that one moment, when she put her hand in mine and I realized I had everything in the world that's good and pure and right, over and over again.

Tina

I went back to my dorm right after the countdown. I'm not sure what Sirius thought, probably that I was mentally retarded because all I did was stutter and walk away from him, without saying one coherent word. To be honest I think I'm more worried about what I would have said if I had the power of speech so it's probably a good thing I didn't say anything to him.

I rolled into bed with all my clothes still on, one half of my brain wondering why I was so tired and the other glad that sleep was coming so easily, as it would give me a short release from feeling the aches and pains I experienced each time I turned over.

I felt the pain in my dreams though. I can't remember much of them but I do know that they weren't the sorts of dreams you want to remember with shocking clarity. They were the sorts of dreams you spend your life trying to forget. Why am I calling them dreams anyway? They're not dreams; they're nightmares, horrible, horrible nightmares. Like the ones they show in films along with a montage of people rolling over again and again with shadows creeping up their blankets towards them.

There were swinging doors that wouldn't stay shut and I could just knew that, any minute now, something terrible was going to come through them. And there were locked doors with light spilling through the cracks that I knew were blocking my entrance to a land of forbidden happiness, but I also knew that however hard I pushed, they wouldn't budge. So I just knelt down and peeked through the key-hole trying to see what was on the other side. I was blinded by what I saw. I can't remember what there was exactly but there was light everywhere and the sound of waterfalls and laughter.

And there were no shadows. And there was no Bella, or any other horrible person that meant me harm. Everyone's skin was clear as pearl and shone in the light from the sky. There was my mum and dad and sister and auntie.

And there was Sirius…


	20. Girlie Talk

I rolled over, groaning from the new bruise on my back, and fell out of bed.

"Ahh!" I screamed as I hit the floor, hard.

Lily rolled over to look at me, "what's up?" she asked, as she opened her eyes. She saw my picking myself up of the floor, rubbing my head and moaning, and burst out laughing.

"Thanks for the sympathy, Lil." I said, shooting her an evil glare as I got up and went into the bathroom.

From in there I heard a thunk and Lily's laughter stop long enough for her to exclaim 'Ow! That hurt!"

"Then shut up!" I heard Marlene reply curtly, "and give me my pillow back."

"No, you threw it at me! Why should I?" asked Lily.

"Lily." Marlene said meaningfully.

"Fine, have your stupid pillow." There was silence for a moment before I heard Lily say 'Ow! Why did you do that again?"

"Shouldn't have given me the pillow back, should you?" Marlene teased.

"You asked me too!" Lily yelled.

"Ow!" said Molly, waking up.

"Oh, sorry, Molls" said Lily, sounding sheepish, "I was aiming for Marlene."

"Is that so?" asked Molly cheekily.

"Molly, don't please, I'm really tired and I only just woke up and… ow!"

By then time I came out of the bathroom the whole dorm was engaged in a full-scale pillow war.

Once everyone had run out of what little energy they had we all lay on the floor, looking up at the dark ceiling.

"So," said Lily, "who did everyone kiss at new years?"

"Arthur Weasley," said Molly, dreamily.

"Well duh!" said Marlene.

"Frank." Said Alice.

"Well duh!" said Marlene, "anyone who hasn't got a long term boyfriend want to answer that question?"

There was a long pause, "James." Said Lily slowly, tentatively, as though trying out the sound of his name in her mouth.

"Really?" I asked sitting up quickly, "Lily, that's great!"

"I know, it was…" said Lily, trailing off.

"Well, everyone did see him spinning you round and round wooping for joy just after the countdown, so I think most people know that one too." Said Marlene.

"So? I just thought you would like to hear it first hand," snapped Lily.

"Well, I will tell you first hand that I bagged the captain of the Ravenclaw quidditch team," said Marlene standing up and storming out.

"Apparently he wasn't much good," said Lily, trying to lighten the mood and ignore what everyone else knew.

"That's not why she left," said Molly quietly, trying feebly to defend her friend

"I know," said Lily, looking slightly ashamed, "I was joking. It wasn't very funny. Sorry."

Molly hauled herself up from the floor, "Sorry, but I have to go. You know how Marlene is." When no one nodded she obviously felt she needed to explain further to us. "She's really over dramatic and stuff but hopefully she'll get over it soon. She's not used to not getting what she wants, especially when it comes to guys and well, I think she actually quite likes him."

"She doesn't seem very interested," I said, sticking up for myself. I wasn't going to have Marlene make me look like some sort of boyfriend-stealing-bitch.

"I don't know, I think she's always had this kind of idea that because they're the two most-" Molly searched for a word that wouldn't make her seem biased, "promiscuous people in the school that they are meant for each other, I guess. She just thinks they fit. I don't know."

I didn't want to show how much this got to me. Maybe that's what everyone else thought- Siruis and Marlene were the obvious couple. Not me. "Just go see her Molly," I told her and she scurried away. I stood up telling myself that the obvious couples never really ended up together- only in films. In real life it wasn't just the most popular girl and the most popular guy- it was whoever you liked and liked you back.

Lily and Emmeline stood up too. "Uh, guys?" Emmeline said, talking with her backs to us and she got clothes from her wardrobe with rather more deliberation then usual, "don't you want to know who I kissed?"

Lily shrieked, and with no exaggeration I think I can safely say that any dogs in a 100-mile vicinity would have cocked their fuzzy little ears and looked around. I could almost see smoke coming out of her ears she was that excited.

Emmeline winced but managed to smile despite her burst eardrums.

"REMUS! REMUS! REMUS!" Lily started to chime.

Emmeline grinned at her friend and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I've liked him for ages Lils, he's so great."

"I knew it!" Lily cried and jumped on her blonde companion, squeezing her so tightly I was almost afraid for Em.

"Lily," I said, trying to get her attention, "you know this thing we humans need to survive- oxygen it's called- and it's the air." She didn't listen. "We breathe it in, through our lungs." Lily still didn't let go. "Let her breathe!"

Lily let go, still grinning, "sorry Em."

"It's ok."

"You make a really cute couple." I said to show Emmeline my support.

Emmeline blushed, "Thanks. So do you and Sirius."

I smiled at her and we were all silent for a minute, contemplating our newfound romances.

Lily broke the silence, "and we all know me and James look goorrgeous together."

Emmeline chuckled.

I gasped in mock amazement, "Lil?" I paused for effect, "I think his ego's rubbing off on you."

"Shut it," said Lily, the smile stick stuck to her face.

Author's Note:

I am so so so so so unbelievably sorry about the time it has taken me to get this up! I know it's not much good but I just needed to put something up and help myself get back into the characters and whatnot.

Kinda a bit filler but I hope you enjoyed it. :/ Next chapter will be much better and longer I promise.

Also, I absolutely hate the name of this Chapter but I just couldn't think of anything else so pleasee comment and give me and idea. Next Chapter will be dedicated to you if you do!

Please Review! Thanks for reading and waiting for me.

Lily ^_^ xx


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